The Brave and the Vulnerable
by Ridiculous Mavis
Summary: Bookverse padding out of those tantalising paragraphs about the journey to the Emerald City and the aftermath. Gelphie through and through, gone off-canon.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: book-verse, Glinda-oriented and a padding out of those tantalising paragraphs about the journey to the Emerald City. Gelphie through and through. Consider yourself disclaimed. Reviews gratefully received.

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><p>When they had absconded over the vegetable garden wall in the night it had all seemed wonderfully exciting. And Glinda had been a little drunk. But now, after no sleep, in a bumpy third class coach with the onset of hangover and headache she was not so sure.<p>

"Really Elphaba!" she hissed, trying to be discreet in front of the other passengers and failing miserably. "This is all very well and good as a bit of a lark but what are we going to do now? I can't think how you got this idea. And you weren't even that drunk."

"I wasn't drunk at all," Elphaba corrected.

"Everyone else went to the Philosophy Club and surely had a jolly good time. We end up on this..." her voice dropped again, "... mouldy old coach."

"You didn't want to go there anyway." Elphaba remained maddeningly calm, just staring out the window and barely even engaging.

Her friend was right, though, Glinda knew. She hadn't, in her more sober heart, really wanted to go to the Philosophy Club. The very idea – or lack of an idea – about the whole shebang terrified her.

"Well I don't want to go to the Emerald City, either," she said pointedly.

At last a flicker of emotion stirred in Elphaba and she turned around. "It's important. We have to see the Wizard, make him understand. Don't you see? Doctor Dillamond and Madame Morrible and that – that – thing – after the funeral. Can't you see it?"

Glinda did not see. Not at all. "Oh, Elphie," she moaned. "You should have brought someone helpful, someone clever, someone useful."

"Yes," Elphaba said sternly. "But I need _you_."

Flushing pink – and feeling as though she had won all the prizes in Oz – Glinda decided not to press the matter. She kicked up her heels and swung her feet until the banging against the base of the seats made the other passengers glare at her.

Sitting quietly for what must have been at least an hour Glinda's attention was caught by Elphaba cracking her knuckles in a distracted way.

"Did you not bring a book with you?" Glinda could count on one hand the number of times she had seen Elphaba in a position to read, but not doing so.

"Apparently not. In all the excitement. But they would have been heavy."

"Yes, because you would have needed more than one." Glinda placed a hand over the ones Elphaba was in danger of doing permanent damage to. "Do you hands ache?" she teased.

Elphaba smiled. More to herself in self satisfaction as those very hands moved to catch Glinda's.

"No," Elphie said quietly, almost shy.

Yes, things were different. Very different. Their circumstance was unusual and well beyond their previous experience, both individually and as a little team. The extra stress had already stripped a layer from their relationship. That superficial layer from the top: the layer presented when other people are around and then maintained for decorum and stability when alone.

That layer, Glinda realised, had been taking more and more energy to maintain. The restraint Elphaba had referred to. It had been getting harder and harder to rein in her impulse to touch, to caress. Choking down words that so desperately wanted to eject themselves in to the world had become a monumental effort. She was constantly vigilant against any slip up. Maintaining the veneer had become a full time occupation.

But now, out here, that energy was needed for other concerns. So the facade began to slip. Glinda would allow it to slip. She wanted it to slip. The situation was so different it was like they were different people and no longer bound by the same rules. Able to make freer or less able to stop the natural inclinations hovering just below the surface. One or the other. Both.

Glinda thought back over some of the events that had brought her here. Not too recent, they were still murky and confusing. She thought back further, right to the beginning.

At first being forced to room with Elphaba had seemed like universal revenge for her callousness with Ama Clutch. Later of course she began to see it all as a wonderful turn of events that she would not trade with any other timeline. She imagined, with horror, if she had been placed with any of the other girls. What would her life be like now if she had? Much the same as it had been at the time. She would have been stalled and remained a silly and superficial eighteen year old forever. Would she ever had gathered the courage to look beyond the bad manners and green skin to see the wonders that lay there? With a shiver of fear and self loathing she knew not.

Previously Galinda as was had avoided Elphaba and their room as much as possible. Elphaba was always there and other, more interesting people were always elsewhere. Then that formula began to reverse itself, almost with her realising. Elphie was interesting, once Galinda actually spoke to her; you had to take an interest in the first place for something to be interesting. Everyone else was losing their shine and Elphaba was not only absorbing all that spare interest but inspiring new energy from Galinda as well. Their room was a sanctuary, it was safe. She wished they were back there now.

Glinda drifted back out of her reverie to find brown eyes watching her intently. She almost wouldn't put it past Elphaba to be able to read minds, a thought that made her flush. That would surely have come up already if it were true.

So she took the offensive. "If you want to buy them they will be a good deal more than a penny."

"Priceless no doubt," Elphaba replied with that particularly droll tone of hers but never missing a beat of Glinda's apropos of nothing conversational style.

"I don't think any of the professors hold that sort of opinion of me." That was not entirely true. Academically she had been doing rather well of late. But it didn't hurt to hear Elphaba tell her that.

"I wouldn't care about their opinions. That place is becoming a farce."

Elphaba's face clouded over and Glinda panicked that what was supposed to be a light hearted conversation was about to get serious. But Elphaba herself seemed to recognise that and perked up a little. "And anyway, I'd sooner listen to your thoughts than theirs."

Glinda scoffed. "Elphaba you don't give a fig about my opinions."

Now obviously in a much better mood Elphaba mimed a shocked hand to the mouth. "Glinda! I can't believe you think that!" Then, more seriously, "You don't actually think that?"

Not knowing what she thought Glinda went off on a slight tangent again. It seemed safer. "You know I feel quite sensible when I'm talking to anyone else but you. Nessa and I have quite profound conversations."

Elphaba frowned at that, as though she saw something in it that Glinda couldn't. Glinda just tossed it aside.

As though trying to offer some sort of reassurance Elphaba pointed out that Glinda was the person she probably spoke most to in the whole of Oz. "And you underestimate yourself," she added.

Wrapping herself around Elphaba's arm Glinda pulled herself closer.

When they eventually, finally, stop bouncing around in the barely sprung carriage there was a whole new routine to learn about the procuring of rooms. The coach made no guarantees about where it would stop each day, making booking in advance completely impossible. The more experienced travellers clearly knew the drill and hot footed it out in to the town, knowing the best places to try.

Glinda and Elphaba were a good deal slower getting together their gear and Glinda could see Elphaba getting fidgety at the delay.

"Give that to me," Elphie said, reaching for Glinda's bags and sounding rather indulgent, Glinda thought, as though she were speaking to a child.

"I can carry my own luggage," she said, rather crossly. Neither of them seemed able to maintain their mood for very long today. It must have been nerves.

True to that observation Elphie seemed to find this humorous. "I have never seen you take a physical exertion you did not absolutely have to."

Glinda pouted. "Just because I don't doesn't mean I can't. I am quite capable."

"And what if I don't think you should have to? What if I _want_ to carry your bag for you?"

Glinda could not suppress a happy giggle. "I suppose it would only be polite to allow you your pleasures." She relinquished her bag to a little bow from Elphaba. The mood swung back again, for a moment.

Once they were all collected Elphie impatiently scooped up the baggage and stalked over to the nearest inn with a vacant accommodation sign.

"You stay out here," Elphie said sternly, dropping the bags just off from the door. Glinda scowled but complied. Elphie had just about disappeared from the door in to the tavern, just a wisp of skirt still visible receding over the threshold when she had a change of plan. Her head reappeared, the long fingers of one hand curled over the door frame. "On second thoughts," she said, glancing in to the tavern then out again in to the darkening street, "You'd best come in."

Elphie moved for the cases but Glinda picked them up quickly and hurried to meet her in the doorway. They were stood close and Elphie muttered darkly for Glinda not to talk to anyone. As if Glinda would make conversation with a single soul in that place!

She was shocked to see the faces of the uncouth men in the inn as their eyes trailed her companion. She knew, really, in her mind, how people must react to Elphaba but it had been gently washed away by their time at Shiz in the company of friends and family. She was daily ashamed to remember her own prejudices when they had first met and indeed for the year to follow. She knew Elphie got more than her fair share of second glances but in these men it was not curious attention it was outright, near dangerous hostility. Glinda did not think she had seen that before. Or maybe she missed it, being as her eyes were also constantly trained on the very same person.

After appraising Elphaba though the eyes also came for her. She had used to enjoy that but certainly did not here and had not for a long time. But wasn't that what the game was all about? Attracting those eyeballs? The dresses, the make-up?

Not for the first time Glinda was very aware of herself and Elphaba cast as opposites. Elphie: statuesque with that wonderful long black hair and her unavoidably emerald skin made belligerent and mistrustful by the gaze of strangers. Glinda, or, to be fair, mostly her previous incarnation as Galinda: glittery and giggly, always laced and crimped and swishing her blonde hair, revelling in attention but at the same time trying to control it so it came only from the right sort of people. The right class, the sort of people she wanted to attract.

Elphaba couldn't do that, couldn't force that distinction. One person in the world loved Elphie's colouring. Loved her in spite of it, loved her because of it. Everyone else in the world recoiled. And maybe Elphie didn't even know there was one person.

Yet even now as Glinda saw Elphaba's eyes darting about the saloon, taking inventory and weighing options, Glinda knew it was her own safety that was the concern. Elphie reached an arm backwards towards her, separating her from the room and stood protectively as they stopped at the bar.

"We need a room for the night." Elphaba said, the slightest tremor in her voice that only Glinda could notice.

Instinctively her hand moved over Elphie's. She knew – or thought she knew – that Elphaba needed no extra strength from her but she willed it anyway and was rewarded with a flicker of gaze towards her that contained a small, grateful smile. Glinda looked down at their hands and not for the first time thought about how wan and feeble her own skin colour looked against the radiant green.

The robust landlady was sat behind them at a table smoking a pipe and nodded sagely. "Nice rooms," she said. "Clean. For fifty."

They wheeled round and Glinda felt Elphie shift next to her, dragging up a lie despite natural inclinations: "I only have forty."

The woman looked them both up and down and sniffed. "Forty, done. The room at the back. No key."

Elphie sighed and bent to pick up the bags while Glinda gave a curt nod.

Up the stairs Elphie muttered darkly. "Nice, clean, completely insecure..."

Glinda's mind was otherwise occupied. She told herself it was the brisk walk up the stairs that was making her heart pound so. But it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't. It was both the fear and anticipation of this: a small single bed sat alone in the room.

"Not quite up to Crage Hall standards of accommodation," Elphaba said, by way of apology.

So many times Glinda had longed for a body next to her in her bed. A particular body. A particular long and green body. And although things weren't quite how she had imagined she was finally going to get her wish.

The room itself was not as appalling as Glinda had feared. It was noisy from the bar and the kitchen was about all she observed. Elphaba was taking a more careful audit and did not look particularly impressed. Nonetheless whatever the trouble was it was not raised and Elphie simply turned to her and asked "Are you hungry?"

Glinda nodded, her deflated hair still able to manage a little bob. She turned to the mirror as Elphaba attempted to hide the luggage out of view under the small dresser.

Downstairs Glinda sat and tried not to look around too much as Elphaba ordered some food. When it came there was little and it was all placed in front of Glinda. She looked at her friend askance. "What about you?"

Elphie clearly had no qualms about looking around as the brown eyes constantly scanned the rest of the room and never once landed on Glinda, she noticed with regret. "Not hungry," was all the answer she received.

So Glinda ate in silence, throwing glances over the table from under knitted brows. To anyone else Elphaba would look relaxed, leaning back in her chair, idly surveying the room. But Glinda knew, as much by instinct and feeling as the little visual clues that her friend was anything but.

Perhaps the insanity of the quest was finally bearing down? Perhaps tomorrow they would be back on their way back to Shiz? Glinda knew she was kidding herself. Elphaba was too strong and too stubborn to turn back and she wouldn't have it any other way. The whole thing was mysterious and terrifying to her but if Elphie needed her she would always be there.

"Are you sure you are quite alright?"

Glinda's voice seemed to bring Elphaba back to some sort of reality.

"Quite alright, indeed. I just..."

"Tell me."

"I just..." Elphaba looked incredibly uncomfortable, as though Glinda were enacting some form of torture rather than trying to be supportive and caring. "I'm beginning to wonder what I've gotten us in to. You in to."

Even though Glinda had been thinking much the same thing just moments ago there was no way she was going to let Elphaba know that. So she tsked the statement away.

"I was in mind for a change of scenery anyway," she said with a deliberately dismissive air. "If it hadn't been the Emerald City I would have had you take me on holiday somewhere, back to Lake Chorge perhaps?"

Elphaba smiled wryly at the same time as squirming. "It would need a very compelling offer to get me back there."

Confident she could play this game Glinda took up the mildly flirtatious challenge. "And a holiday with me is not? I can sweeten the deal: fresh air, all the books you can read, a big house, beautiful scenery..."

"The fear of Pfannee and ShenShen at every turn, the great big lake..." Elphaba deadpanned.

"Don't tell me the lake is a problem. I thought you grew up next to one? And then the swamps of Quadling Country."

"Maybe I've just had my fill of lakes. Maybe I would prefer cabins in the mountains and forests."

Glinda was not particularly persuaded of the holidaying – or romantic – value of mountains and forests. "But the ants, the mosquitoes... the lack of plumbing."

Elphaba just chortled to herself and though the conversation was not exactly concluded Glinda felt she had achieved her goal of relaxing her.

The relaxation did not last past re-entering their room. First Elphaba checked on the luggage, happily still present. Fishing out nightgowns Glinda's eyes gravitated to the bed, as had Elphie's.

"I'll go to the bathroom," Glinda said. "You can get changed in here."

After a nod of agreement she slipped out to perform a less than rigorous nightly routine. When she returned there was a certain air of tension, she felt.

Elphie lay in the bed ramrod straight on her back very close to – if not actually pressed against – the wall. More than half the bed lay free so Glinda lifted the covers and laying on her side facing Elphie shuffled as close as she dared. Which was quite close. If not actually pressed against. Elphie looked at the ceiling. Glinda looked at Elphie.

"Good night," she whispered.

"Good night, Glinda."


	2. Chapter 2

When Glinda woke she was facing away in to the room but pressed between her own hands was a green one. She smiled and nuzzled in to it with her nose, her lips brushing against a green wrist. Not kissing, just touching.

"Good morning," came from behind, startling her and making her shake. Elphaba's voice was thick from lack of use all night and impossibly sexy.

"By Lurline! Elphie! You scared me. How long have you been awake?" Glinda half rolled over, letting go of the precious hand.

Elphaba shrugged as best as she was able with one arm pinned beneath Glinda. "Can I have my arm back?"

For the first time Glinda realised she ought to be embarrassed so she flushed properly. "I'm sorry... I don't know how..."

"You wouldn't settle," Elphaba said simply. As if that explained it all. As if that explained anything.

"Unfamiliar surroundings," Glinda all but breathed.

Glinda wondered, as they were getting dressed, but did not ask, whether Elphie had actually slept. Later she realised the answer would probably have been a no, if it had been answered at all.

By the afternoon back in the carriage Elphie's head nodded and drooped on her long neck so that Glinda was concerned it would snap. At one point, sensing herself drifting, Elphie snapped back and recoiled so quick she slammed her head hard against the wood of the carriage behind them.

Glinda, having recovered from the fright, cursed thoroughly. "For Oz's sake Elphaba! Go to sleep! We are quite safe here. There is nothing to fear from these gentle folk." Glinda wasn't entirely sure that were true but roped in those fellow travellers still awake themselves with eye contact and a slightly disingenuous smile. Having called out the possibility there was now no way it could take place. Whatever the 'it' were that Elphaba seemed so vigilant against.

Head propped back between the stuffing of the seat and the carriage wall Elphie relaxed, finally, and Glinda smiled.

Except now she was alone with only herself for company. Even having grown more self sufficient of late this was still not Glinda's preferred position. Her mind was treacherous, exactly like now as it began to wander on to subjects she would rather remain in denial over. She had not thought back much to the moments after the sisters' and her strange interview with Madame Morrible. She could scarce remember the interview itself, it didn't even feel like a dream any more, just the memory of a dream. But she remembered those moments after, in the marketplace, when Nessa had fainted and she herself had been... overcome, was the rather delicate way she decided to put it in her own mind.

She wondered if Elphie remembered. Then she corrected herself that the other girl surely must. Though it felt like a lifetime ago, or a previous lifetime, it had in fact only been a few days hence. Was this shared memory what was coming between them, the suffocating secret that sucked all the air out the room when they grew still and just looked at one another?

Oh really, this was too confusing!

Facts, Glinda, she told herself. Facts. She glanced over at Elphaba but all she could see was shiny black hair and a nose. The other girl was soundly asleep and likely to be so for some time. Glinda composed herself, neatly upright with her hands in her lap, and shut her eyes to better recall the situation.

There had been the strange snatches of daydream, a clumsy pastiche of images she hardly understood and certainly had no previous reference to draw from. From some other world she had heard Nessa instructing Elphie to catch her. Why the instruction? Nessa had been similarly affected and fallen against Nanny but then Nanny was always on alert around her precious charge. Elphie was not on alert and had been looking down at her boots, scuffing the ground rather than keeping a watchful eye on Glinda. Glinda knew this as she had been studying the green girl herself at the time.

Maybe that held a key? During those vivid ideas that had played out mostly as emotions Glinda had been – as usual – sneaking glances at her friend. During the binding spell itself she had glanced over to see Elphie's defiant face set in petulant features. Perhaps the object of this... looking, was the only term she would politely give it, had been incorporated in to the binding spell? Binding her to Elphie as part of her destiny? But that was ridiculous. They were bound to each other anyway, their futures inextricably linked by virtue of their friendship. They did not need a spell for that.

Indeed the glances were nothing new, nothing special. Glinda's mind wandered to snatched fragments of Elphaba. Some dated even during their first year at Shiz. Elphie concertinaed around a book sitting on her bed, Elphie with her feet on a chair and chin on her knees enduring a lecture, Elphie leant precipitously backward in her chair taking huge bites from an apple... there were too many. There were hundreds, all favourites, all snatched moments in time.

Always, even at first, Glinda had been acutely aware of the presence of her roomie: feeling a change in the atmosphere when ever she walked in to a room, whether full or empty; scanning crowds for her, which luckily was not an arduous task since she was easy to spot in a lecture theatre; sensing their proximity and positioning so that she could either remain distant in her pretence of disgust or wheedle her way closer in a desperate need to be within Elphie's intoxicating aura.

Glinda chastised herself for getting so off-track from the matter at hand. She would never have Elphaba's clear, insistent, focussed, enquiring, scientific mind. She was given to fancy and daydreams. That was just the way it was. But then that was what caused most of the trouble in the first place.

Back in the moment Glinda recalled how as the world came back to focus she was undone by Elphaba being very much _right there_ and was shaken with terror which quickly gave way to quivering of a different nature as impulses took over.

Hands were in Elphaba's hair, fingers circling behind Elphaba's ears, thumbs stroking over Elphaba's cheeks. Surely, Glinda had thought, surely Elphie can feel this heat throbbing in me as I tremble in her arms?

"Resist!" Elphaba almost begged, clearly close to as terrified, in that moment, as Glinda was. Glinda shook her head mutely, her eyes devouring Elphie's, sucking her lips inside her mouth to moisten in anticipation.

But the headiness was fading. The rest of the world, beyond just the two of them, was also coming in to focus. Elphaba was right, of course. This was neither the time nor the place. But Glinda knew as surely as she had ever known anything that when time and place did converge satisfactorily there was going to be more where that came from.

The danger was passing but Elphaba was still struggling, words now seeming to convince herself more than Glinda. Glinda tried to fight the increasing clarity, tried to will the world away again. Elphaba was admonishing her some more, words taking a great effort but trying to salvage the situation to something reputable. Even though Nanny and Nessarose were close by – though otherwise distracted – Glinda heard "I love you too much..." which almost did for her resolve. But the "Snap out of it, you idiot!" was somewhat more forceful as Elphaba began to lose patience.

Deposited on the straw and finally free of the heady sensations of being cradled in Elphaba's arms she managed to pulling a face-saving retort from some still-functioning recess of her brain. It was over. A perilously, wonderfully close call. It was over but it had washed over her and left her changed forever.

Contentedly, eyes still closed in aid of the sensory heightening, Glinda imagined herself back. Back in to Elphaba's embrace, back looking up lost in those eyes, replaying the moment again and again.

The coachman's call raised Glinda with a guilty start. She had fallen asleep after all. Not only that but Elphaba had slumped against her shoulder and her own head had come to rest on top of Elphie's. Elphie stirred against her, stirring her mind and it all came rushing back in a terrible tidal wave of recollection so that she felt rather giddy and also quite sick.

Turning the scene over and over in her mind she hadn't noticed when it had started to deviate from history. In one version, maybe the first deviation, maybe the hundredth, dreams were untraceable in that respect, in one version Elphie had kissed her back. In another version the marketplace had melted away to be replaced with a barn in an idyllic – and unpopulated – country setting where there had been no need to resist anything and nothing had been resisted.

A sudden burst of panicked adrenaline at this remembrance shot Glinda from her seat. Despite having been asleep moments before the coach stopped they still managed to disembark quicker than the previous night. To continue the learning curve though a new challenge was presented.

"No room for a witch," Glinda heard the barkeep say. It wasn't the first time such an accusation had been levelled at poor Elphaba and Glinda would have found it amusingly ironic that of course she were the one closer to sorcery. Except it wasn't ironic, it was just plain heartbreaking.

"What about for her?" Elphaba was gesturing over her shoulder at Glinda.

Instantly Glinda was in action and fair flew across the room to take hold of Elphaba's elbow.

"Elphie, no. Not on my own. Not without you." The two statements sounded like the same sentiment but they weren't any more. Even if she hadn't been afraid to be on her own Glinda didn't want to be without her friend. She wondered if Elphie could discern the difference.

Elphie was brushing her off though. "No!" Glinda remonstrated again. But the stubborn creature just waved away Glinda's clutching hands and gave her an awful glare.

The barkeep surveyed the scene in front of him and played with his moustache. "No trouble?" He asked for reassurances from the green girl.

Elphaba shook her head. "I'll work something out," she muttered.

Keys were slid across the bar top and a few notes went the other way.

"I'll just help her up with the bags," Elphaba was saying, heading back across the room as Glinda followed mutely.

The barkeep nodded but added "Make sure I see you come back down." Elphie gave an irreverent and mocking little tip of the head and if Glinda hadn't been so annoyed she would have thought it adorable and plucky.

Just about kicking the door down Elphaba burst in to the room, dumping the bags and heading straight to the window. She glanced out and grunted.

"Elphaba!" Glinda began to voice her displeasure. "What are you doing? We could have gone somewhere else – we could have found somewhere else. I will not be left on my own here. I thought you -" She wanted to say _I thought you were supposed to be looking after me_, but couldn't bring herself to that accusation.

A smirk crept across Elphaba's face that did not do much to assuage Glinda's wrath. The now infuriating creature flipped a catch on the window and in a few long strides was back across the small room. Evidently feeling quite pleased with herself she dropped a kiss on the top of Glinda's head, in to her hair, with one hand on the door handle.

"Lock then bar the door with the chair like I do," Elphaba murmured, still in to blonde hair. "I'm going to give it a while but I'll be back soon." And she whisked out of the door.

Glinda stood in the room abandoned and anchorless. She sat down on the bed that creaked and groaned.

"The door, you idiot!" It echoed through the wood and shook Glinda back to her senses. Elphaba was still out there, hovering, waiting to make sure.

Noisily turning the key in the lock, scraping the chair across the floor and banging it roughly against the door Glinda called back, "There, happy?" There was a muffled laugh and then the sound of foot steps.

Not much later there was a knock on the door from a kitchen girl asking if the miss would like any food brought up. Quite likely also spying for traces of green. Now quiet removing the chair Glinda said yes and asked for as much as she dared lest she give away it were for two. She supposed it were for two though what dreadful scheme Elphaba was up to eluded her.

Having eaten as much as she felt she had the appetite for Glinda turned to pacing the room. Wind rattled the window shutters and soon there was the plinking of rain drops hitting the panes. In growing concern Glinda stood for a full half an hour with a hand against the window looking out in to the barely discernible night. When Elphaba's face appeared in the darkness she gave a shriek and stumbled backward.

Elphaba pulled the window open and sort of rolled herself over the sill and in to a pile on the floor, all limbs and black cloak.

"Elphie!" Glinda gasped when she had recovered herself sufficiently and rushed forward, shutting the window and seizing her friend's shoulders to help her up.

"Take this, will you?" Elphaba said briskly, shrugging off the cloak so as not to touch it. Glinda plucked off the hat as well for good measure and carried them both, dripping, across the room as far from Elphaba as possible. With her back still turned she couldn't help but let out a loud sob, that she cursed herself for.

Elphaba's fussing behind her fell in to silence at the sound. "Glinda? What is it, you silly thing?"

Arms were around her, strong arms, and a warmth against her back that she leaned in to. She threw the wet clothes on the floor and hiccuped in suppressing another cry. "What is it?" came again, murmured close to her ear. "Are you tired? Are you hungry? I bought some -"

Glinda shut off the explanations by turning in Elphie's arms and tucking her head under Elphie's chin, resting on her chest. "I was scared," she said.

"Oh now," Elphie began, a lightness in her voice to try and soften the situation. "You know I'll never leave you, you delicate little flower, I -"

"No!" Glinda protested, pulling out of the embrace and wishing the room were bigger so as to put more space between them for storming off in. She rounded on Elphaba, both crying and angry, angry that after all this time the other girl still thought that Glinda cared only for herself.

"I was scared for you." She let it hang there. "I was scared about you. It was dark and raining and I didn't know if you were safe..." The tears came back with the memory of the fear, this strange anger and then resentment at the apparent schoolgirl silliness Elphaba always seemed to inspire in her.

Over the room Elphaba's brow was furrowed. Glinda knew she would be brushed off with some sarcasm.

"Not something I've ever known," Elphaba attempted to joke, weakly lifting an arm. "People worrying about me."

"Well I do! And other people care as well if you only weren't too stubborn to see it or too stubborn to let them." Glinda could see she had lost Elphaba on the other people part but that she did believe the weeping girl on the first score, perhaps for the first time.

Elphaba moved closer and held out a hand in conciliation, relaxing a little when Glinda took it. Elphie raised the pale little thing to her lips and gave it a courteous kiss but Glinda was not quite finished.

"I know you think," she continued, but in a slightly less hysterical tone, "That I'm some terrible selfish spoiled little brat who thinks only of herself." Glinda saw a frown of dissent growing on the face opposite. "But I don't just -"

"I know." Elphie cut her off, rude as usual but there was something else there. "I know you," Elphie said urgently, needing to be understood.

"And I you..."

The moment stretched onwards and Glinda felt the blood coursing through her veins, heard shouts from the bar down below and felt a draught across her ankles. But all she really was aware of was Elphie's hand in her own and the unending brown of Elphie's eyes. She felt giddy and faint and something must have happened to bring Elphaba back around to take Glinda by the elbows and deposit her on the bed.

"Ah," said Elphie, half impressed and half put out. "I see you have food."

"I saved some for you," Glinda said meekly, still feeling light headed.

"Well we can have what I scrabbled together in the coach tomorrow. Have you had enough of this, though?"

Glinda nodded absentmindedly. Elphie made short work of what was left of the meal. Glinda supposed she must have been hungry and couldn't recall her eating during the day.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?" Elphie asked when she had finished, trying to atone. "Anything else you need?"

"Just you," Glinda replied, tired and dazed, leaning herself back against the thin pillows.

A faint smile played over Elphaba's face as it softened. "That I can do," she said, lowering herself in to Glinda's reaching arms and positioning herself sideways on the bed, her feet sticking over the end so her head could rest in Glinda's lap. Glinda began to play with the long black hair and even that was permitted.

Glinda only realised she had fallen asleep as she was waking up. Her fingers flexed and found themselves alone and there was no warm body pressed in to her. This loneliness and a returning kernel of worry prised open her eyelids. Thankfully, almost immediately, Elphaba's tall figure was visible, kneeling over their baggage. Her shuffling drew Elphie's attention and earnt a smile.

"Don't worry," Elphie said, trying out the new words. "I'm right here."

"Is it late?"

"Getting there. I was just rallying myself to try and wake you, so that we could go to bed properly."

Glinda nodded, missing the usual dig about her deep sleeps. She hadn't been feeling particularly well rested thus far on their adventure and it was all beginning to catch up with her. Elphie was extracting her nightgown from the bag but she felt too exhausted. Obviously sensing this Elphie slid up on to the bed next to her.

"Here," said Elphie, almost gently, fingers running along the neck of Glinda's travelling gown. "Let me help you." The gown slipped over milky shoulders and Elphie gamely tackled the corset. "Damn frills," she muttered darkly. But it came off eventually, the nightgown went over and the rest of the gown and petticoats were wriggled out of.

Only vaguely aware in the haze of drowsiness of green hands on her body Glinda did come around to the fact Elphaba was now knelt in front of her, those hands now holding her own in her lap.

She wanted to say something and Elphaba clearly wanted to say something, but neither did. Elphaba just lifted up the covers for Glinda to swing her legs in to.

Unable to leave the room Elphaba had to take the unusual step of changing in front of Glinda, who lay quite properly in bed. As much as she would love to be there sneaking glances there was always something about Elphaba's reticence that made her not. Glinda was not shy about changing in front of Elphaba and Elphaba did not go to great lengths to disguise the fact that she quite enjoyed that. But with Elphie it was different and Glinda would not betray that, however pointless she felt the concern was.

There was a padding around on the floor until Elphaba appeared in the bed, shuffling around.

Glinda's arm snaked across Elphaba's stomach and she tucked her hand between Elphaba and the mattress. "Your nightgown is scratchy," she whined plaintively.

"Well your laces are tickly," Elphaba retorted. "We'll just have to muddle on through, won't we?"

Glinda smiled in to Elphaba's shoulder. "Good night, Elphie."

In return Elphaba smiled and muttered "Good night, Glinda," in to Glinda's hair, burning her scalp with warm breath.


	3. Chapter 3

Glinda woke the next morning to the jarring and jostling of Elphaba extricating long limbs from the short bed. And indeed from Glinda's own limbs, wrapped tightly around the other girl.

"Morning," she said sleepily as piece by piece she was left alone in the bed. "Did you sleep well?"

"You did," Elphie informed her. "Better than last night at any rate."

Glinda wondered if this were a tacit admission that Elphie hadn't slept at all last night, again. "And you?"

"I'm quite fine, thank you."

Affirmative. Glinda didn't like it and she didn't like, well, not being lied to exactly, but outmanoeuvred and evaded. She threw herself out of bed, picked up her toiletries and dislodged the chair, stalking out to use the facilities.

When she returned she saw Elphaba look at her out of the corner of an eye but the other girl said nothing. So Glinda said nothing in return and turned to her case to find something to wear and begin getting dressed. She could feel Elphaba's eyes on her and it was both pleasing and infuriating.

After a while it was Elphie who broke the silence.

"You don't have to wear that any more, you know." Elphaba said in reference to the corset Glinda was struggling with, though Glinda noted she was not offering to help.

Glinda genuinely had not considered the possibility of just doing away with the thing. Yes she had been very complicit in the way some things had changed since leaving Shiz but she didn't see why everything should be turned upside down just for the point of it.

"What will you do if I don't?"

"Precisely nothing," said Elphaba, lounging in a very annoying manner on the bed.

"What if I do?"

"The same."

This really was too much. "Shouldn't you be getting ready?" It was a weak retort, she knew it as soon as it left her mouth.

"I am ready." Elphaba stood and raised her arms to show off her full state of dress in evidence. "Perhaps if you wore less -"

"Yes! Alright! Thank you!" Glinda had walked in to that one but that didn't mean she needed to stay there and be chewed out. "Well then shouldn't you be disembarking through the window or something?"

Elphaba clearly decided that were wise, rather than stand around antagonising Glinda further. Glinda let the outer garments be put on in a stony silence and Elphaba was halfway out the window – literally one leg either side – before she came rushing over and put a hand on Elphie's shoulder.

"Elphie, I'm sorry. And about last night. I don't know what I – I think I was tired... and emotional."

There was a frown, then a nod. "I'll see you downstairs in a bit." The cloak and its contents disappeared from the window. Glinda did not want to see the descent, she just held her breath until she heard the footsteps striding away. She was not entirely sure that she was entirely forgiven however.

The demeanour that met her outside on the street though was back to Elphie's curious mix of charming and courteous that always made Glinda melt. Clearly Elphaba was perfectly aware of this and was seeking to pacify Glinda, extending a hand to help her gallantly in to the carriage and being more than usually attentive. Unfortunately it did not last long as once the carriage had found a rhythm out on the open road Elphaba was nodding off again. Glinda guided the swinging head down on to her own shoulder and heard Elphie mumble something incoherent as she came to rest there.

"Shh, now," Glinda murmured lovingly to the top of Elphaba's head. I've got you, she thought, too afraid to say it even with Elphie sound asleep.

Unspoken thoughts or not Glinda was rewarded with a sleepy smile when Elphaba roused herself as the carriage slowed at a waystation for a luncheon break.

"Was I asleep?"

"No, you were nattering so incessantly I knocked you unconscious," Glinda replied in her best Elphaban impression.

Another reward, another smile.

Glinda stopped Elphaba from pulling their lunch from her satchel quite yet.

"I need some fresh air," she said, trying not to look at the man who even from the far corner reeked of tobacco and sweat.

Elphaba, of course, knew exactly what she was referring to and smiled a thin, twitching smile.

So they sat on the grass a little way from the coach, Elphaba keeping a wary eye on it in case it decide to be on its way without them. The fresh air was nice, Elphie was still on her best behaviour despite whatever concerns paced within her brain and Glinda's enjoyment was only marred by how little the other girl ate.

Back on the road they played an agonising game of eye-spy with Glinda taking so long to formulate a guess that whatever Elphaba had spotted was miles away. It came to an end with Glinda feeling quite pleased for having caused Elphie such deep thought that the normally quick witted girl was silent for a full five clock ticks – that is until Glinda realised Elphie had simply fallen asleep. Sighing she pulled up the blanket, tucked Elphie's cloak around her and went back to playing word games in her own head, which was decidedly less amusing.

As the coachman's call about their last stop came Elphaba sat bolt upright and started scanning the little town from the carriage window. "Any preferences?"

"Just not another pub, please! My nerves can't stand it."

Elphie grinned. "I'll see what I can do." Glinda watched her leap out of the carriage and stalk away in the mud, pulling the cloak tight around thin shoulders. She herself collected their blanket and waited for their luggage to be deposited in a puddle, which it duly was. There were not exactly porters on this kind of voyage so the options were to move it herself or wait for the return of her more physically adept friend. Glinda opted for the latter. Elphie enjoyed it, anyway.

Just as she was shifting from foot to foot and reflecting that she had been waiting quite some time she spotted Elphaba bowling down the street.

"I'm not sure how much better, my dear," was the first excuse to come tumbling out Elphaba's mouth. "But not a pub." The bags were hoisted and Glinda was escorted along the main road to a thin doorway that led up three flights of stairs to a dusty attic room.

Glinda peered out the gloomy window on to the street below. "Well I'm glad you won't be scaling _that_," she said of the long drop to the street and got another smile from Elphaba. She stamped her feet, "Though it is cold up here." The smile was replaced by a frown that she felt terribly responsible for causing.

But Elphaba continued matter of factly. "Well we need to find somewhere to eat, preferably with a fireplace then. We can steal a stick and bring it back here for our own bonfire."

"And be burnt alive in the night," Glinda noted darkly, though she was enjoying the game.

"You wanted to be warm, you greenhouse flower."

"Warm, not roasted alive."

"In for a penny, in for a pound," Elphie philosophised, knowing full well Glinda could not make head nor tail of it, or so it seemed to Glinda herself.

Outside on the street Glinda persuaded Elphie in to one of the more upmarket pubs. Elphie even acquiesced to eating a sandwich _and_ offered to buy Glinda a glass of wine. An offer which was declined as Glinda had noticed a surreptitious counting of coins in the purse, an element she had never thought to pay account to.

It was cosy in the pub, sitting on padded armchairs rather than the stiff dining chairs of late, mild chatter around her rather than vague threat. A welcome sense of normality swept through Glinda, a feeling that at any moment their friends could come walking in and nothing would be amiss. But she liked being on her own with Elphaba. She had gone from a desperate endeavour never to be alone with the girl to a desperate desire in a fairly short amount of time. She loved Nessa and Boq and their other friends but she greedily sometimes just wanted her dearest friend – and her dearest friend's attention – all to herself.

"This is nice," was all she allowed herself to voice of the emotion. "We should do this more often."

An insolent grin lit up Elphaba's face. "Me kidnap you to the Emerald City?"

Glinda gave her a pointed look. "You know full well what I mean. I have missed you."

"We live together."

Well, obviously. The day to day rubbing along of their lives together, the domesticity, the little compromises, the comfortable proximity, was a constant source of delight to Glinda. But this was different.

Again with the look. "I had noticed. Elphie, I just – I like spending time with you. This kind of time." She wasn't sure herself exactly what it was she was struggling to articulate.

But over the table Elphaba seemed to have a clearer picture. Long fingers covered Glinda's own as Elphie leant forward.

"When we get home I will take you out. Multiple times. Just us."

See, it was known. It was understood. Glinda smiled gratefully but felt like a simpering little girl. Elphaba's fingers ran up and down her own. The sensation was as intoxicating as wine except it also seemed to be taking effect on the other party.

"I..." Elphie was struggling already. "I do so appreciate you, you know." But she was not content with however that came out, in contrast to whatever had been intended. "And I know it doesn't always – I don't always – but I am utterly devoted to you. You know that. Don't you?"

Glinda's head nodded for her, without instruction from her brain which was too occupied keeping her breath issuing and her blood flowing. She was sure her smile was horribly wide but there was nothing she could do about it, no control in the world. Had she known that? Of course she had known that, really. But she was discovering that to hear it said out loud was a different matter entirely.

Elphie then quickly collected herself and looked horrifically embarrassed, "Are we all done here, then?"

Glinda nodded mutely.

Standing up they put on their coats. Elphaba put on then took off her own navy blue scarf and wrapped it around Glinda who could only stand and stare up at her. She gave a mischievous tug on the spare end of the scarf. "I know 'fashion comes first' but there's no-one to see you here, Miss Glinda."

Elphaba held open the door chivalrously and Glinda waltzed happily through. The street beyond was dark and deserted, just squares of yellow light from the pub hitting the pavement and not a soul in sight, everyone huddled up in warmth somewhere. Glinda took a step sideways, waiting for Elphie, and up against her back she felt flowers trailing from hanging baskets right down the wall. Eyes still trained on the door she put a hand backward and felt the soft petals. Elphie came through the door and shut it carefully and for a moment Glinda saw she had become invisible; Elphie was looking up and down the street right past her.

Glinda stepped half a stride out of the flowery curtain and put a hand to Elphie's arm which seemed to startle the poor girl. Though she knew Elphie was too collected to be perturbed for more than a heartbeat Glinda's hand not only stayed in contact but began to move upwards, running over her shoulder, ostensibly in comfort. But as hand met the soft green skin of the neck and Glinda felt rather than saw deep brown eyes blazing any thought of comfort was replaced with something more.

Curling her fingers in to Elphie's neck Glinda pulled the other girl in to her and them both back against the wall, a backdrop of black foliage. Glinda's other hand, now at Elphie's wrist, also began it's ascent up the arm, tracing over a collarbone and up the back of the neck to where soft hair began, fingers staying there to swirl.

Raising herself as far as she was able Glinda just had to drag Elphie in to close the distance, an insistent pressure downwards from those fingertips on the back of the neck. She felt Elphie's hands creep to her waist – hardly any distance so close they were stood together – and she could feel the chest opposite her heaving, almost hear both their hearts pounding

"Elphie..." Glinda breathed or moaned or somehow expressed as she felt Elphaba's breath on her face, ragged breaths, air catching in her windpipe. It was desire, desire all over and Glinda didn't hide a scrap of it. She wanted it all up front and centre where Elphie could see it, could feel it, could be in no doubt. When she closed the gap and pressed their lips together she kissed Elphie like her life depended on it, again and again, because her life did depend on it.

Finally she had possession of those lips. Her hand moved from Elphie's neck to trail along the jaw doing double duty to both satisfy her craving for the object of her affection and stop said object from wriggling away. Not that Elphaba seemed to be complaining. Glinda captured those soft lips in her own, she roamed across them, mouth opening and closing against them and eventually allowed herself a small taste of tongue which Elphie was equally receptive to.

They leaned further back in to the wall. Elphie was pressed up against her as close as could be but Glinda kept pulling, kept her grip tight and desperate.

Elphie was frowning. Glinda could feel it, feel the brows pulled together against her own. She couldn't discern why – concentration or hesitation or anything in between. Certainly the taller girl was perfectly placed to pull away had she wanted to, but she didn't. Glinda pushed the thought away and pushed herself further in to Elphaba's lips.

This was happening. It was happening now, finally. If this was the only time she ever got to do this she was damn well going to make the best of it. And if she were struck by lightning that instant she would combust in perfect, perfect happiness.

After considerable time the kissing slowed and took the same route back as it had begun. Tongues were withdrawn turning in to long searching kisses then in to closed lips pressing together with only slightly less urgency. Finally they broke and Elphie was panting hot breath all over Glinda, who was sure she was doing the same in return.

Elphie leaned her head over Glinda's shoulder and on to the wall behind, allowing Glinda to lightly kiss her neck, hands dropping to fasten tightly around Elphie's waist. Glinda inhaled and it was all Elphie and all wonderful.

Where now? Glinda didn't know and she almost didn't care.

In answer there was an echoing shout from further down the street and the sounds of a group approaching. Elphaba drew back instantly and turned her head in their direction.

Vaguely able to make out Elphie's profile in the dark and finding it completely captivating Glinda was about to instigate round two, shouty men or no shouty men. But Elphaba put an arm about her shoulders to steer her away. Except the arm stayed around her shoulders even once they were headed in the right direction and Glinda took full advantage, leaning in and lending a matching arm to go around Elphie's waist.

Disengaging to negotiate the narrow staircase Glinda followed Elphaba up and stood nervously behind her whilst the door was unlocked. As predicted the room was freezing cold. Though not quite predicted but certainly a possibility that had been anticipated Elphaba put as much of the room between herself and Glinda as possible.

Glinda sighed and leaned up against the door. After a moment she rallied herself and took a step forward towards where Elphaba was rummaging in the bags. But Elphie turned, her hands holding Glinda's nightgown and wash bag and the look in her eyes was almost pleading as she held them out. Glinda took them.

"I'll just be..." she indicated the bathroom next door and moved, but paused. "Thank you, Elphie," she said, simply. Elphie could take that as thanks for her things or whatever she wanted though Glinda hoped the look in her own eyes would reveal the intention.

Re-entering the room after another brief toilette she placed her toiletries on the side and headed to the bed as Elphaba wordlessly passed by her to go in to the bathroom. She was there much less time and when she did come out she didn't seem to know what to do with herself.

Watching Elphie check the lock, bar the door, check the windows, pull at the blind, fuss with the bags, check the door again Glinda thought it would have been more convincing display of nonchalance had she entered a kitchen and just started banging pots and pans.

Although not quite the effect she had wanted to have on Elphie she was at least pleased she could provoke some effect. And Nervous Elphie was not a common sight. But really this was getting ridiculous and Glinda had to force some sort of return to the strange normality that was their own.

"My feet are cold."

In response Elphie simply shuffled about and then Glinda yelped as a hand grasped her foot under the covers. A scratchy thick woollen sock was rolled on to one foot and then the other. Then, for good measure, both feet were given a brisk rub.

"My arms are cold."

Elphie threw her cloak over the bed for extra protection and slipped in. Glinda lay on her side facing out the bed and Elphie aligned accordingly, rubbing the top of Glinda's arms.

"My back's cold," Glinda continued so Elphie shuffled closer and lay full length beside her, slipping an arm underneath and the other over the top to wrap fully around Glinda. The trembling could always be put down to the cold.

"Good night, Elphie."

"Good night, my sweet."

Glinda smiled.

Waking in the night, feeling an icy sting on the nose, there was still an arm under Glinda wrapped protectively over her chest. The other had gone though and the body behind had shifted, back to flat-on-back-poker position.

Glinda rolled in Elphaba's arms – and enjoyed the way that phrase rang in her head – coming to rest on her other side. She lay a hand on Elphie's chest at the base of her throat, one finger extending gently upwards. Only then did she realise that Elphie was still awake and peering down at her.

"Are you warm enough?"

"Mm, not too bad. My nose." She angled her face down in to Elphie's shoulder and the fabric made her want to sneeze. "Can't you sleep?"

There was a slight twitch from her silent companion and Glinda chose to ignore its cause. "When I was little my Ama used to stroke me here," she said, the tip of a finger alighting on Elphie's temple. "And sing. Now I'm not going to sing, but..." and she drew her finger down until temple turned to cheek, then dragged it back up again.

She could see Elphie's eyelids flutter closed as she repeated the motion and for a few moments it seemed to be having the desired relaxing effect. But Elphie stirred herself and moved slightly away from Glinda's touch, at which her hand fell away.

"I don't want to sleep. I'd rather stay... alert."

Glinda reached around and cupped Elphaba's other cheek, turning her face back in to view again. "I feel very safe," she said, not realising until then how true it was.

"Yes," Elphie almost laughed. "Because I'm awake. Because I don't trust anyone."

"I trust you," Glinda remonstrated helpfully, though not necessarily logically.

"I almost especially don't trust myself," Elphaba shot back and Glinda could read enough in to her harsh tone to know Elphie wasn't concerned about accidentally pilfering the bags whilst asleep.

There was silence for a while. Glinda was quite content in it. If Elphaba wanted to say any more she could but Glinda wasn't going to push anything. Eventually Elphie shuffled a little and turned slightly more in to her.

"Are you still awake?"

"Mm hm."

"Comfy?"

"Mm."

"Warm enough?"

"Hm."

The blankets moved and suddenly there was a pair of fingertips on Glinda's temple, moving gently.

"Then go to sleep, dearest." Elphie deposited a quick kiss on Glinda's nose, which kept the chill off wonderfully.


	4. Chapter 4

When Glinda realised she was waking up she willed it to happen slowly, gently, if it must happen at all. She had been having wonderful dreams.

Her sleepy mind also tried to gauge the whereabouts of Elphaba but that was not too much of a struggle. Hair tickled her nose and she felt the coarse nightdress against her face. Slowly opening her eyes the nightdress was all she could see, pressed as she was against Elphaba's front. Both Elphie's arms were around her and if Glinda had been any closer she would have been the nightdress itself. Clearly Elphaba's embarrassment did not extend to cuddling.

Knowing that Elphie would retreat as soon as she showed signs of being awake Glinda purposely lay still for as long as she could. Regrettably though she was growing stiff in the small, hard bed and needed to use the facilities. She made an act of yawning and pulling Elphaba closer.

The retreat took place and Glinda gave chase across the tiny bed as best she could. Elphaba straightened her out in her arms and then lay back.

"Morning," Glinda said happily.

She watched a smile spread across Elphaba's face. "Morning," Elphie said quietly, her hand fluffing at Glinda's hair.

Glinda groaned. "Is it awful?"

"It's adorable."

That was it. Glinda had been openly awake for less than a clock tick and she was already overcome with the desire to kiss Elphaba. Not just _wanting_ to kiss her, that had been a longstanding want of every morning – every moment – for a long time. But a need.

Elphaba, whether through somehow discerning Glinda's desire or the advent of a reciprocal desire – well, Glinda could only hope – immediately wriggled away and got out of bed.

Thankfully Elphaba was little more than distracted today as she got herself ready, not the fevered anxiety she had been in the grip of for a while last night. Glinda smiled to herself. For all of Elphaba's madness and spontaneity she was actually quite set in her ways and did not cope very well when change was foisted upon her, even pleasant change. She just didn't know what to do with herself outside of this role she had invented.

They were bound closer than ever. Elphie had always protected Glinda and she was never more in need of protection than now. And Elphie took her responsibility incredibly seriously. Glinda didn't know, though, what she was giving in return. All she had for Elphie was love. Adoration. Devotion. Nothing practical or useful that Elphie needed.

In an attempt not to become disheartened she swung in to action to get ready, clearly needing to pay some attention to herself. As she washed and towelled her hair she could hear Elphaba pacing about the room and smiled. But they did not miss the coach, they were on and settled in plenty of time.

Glinda would have liked Elphaba to have stayed awake, though she could not begrudge the girl her sleep. Anyway there was nothing to say to each other squeezed in with all those strangers. Neither their conversations as friends nor as whatever-they-were-becoming really worked with an audience of unknowns.

Their conversation was impenetrable even to their friends: filled with banter and cluttered with inside jokes, veering from deep philosophy to complete inanity in a matter of seconds. Now also with a goodly dose of innuendo and flirtation it was more dangerous than ever.

Though having Elphaba sleep next to her was no hardship. By dint, Glinda presumed, of not dreaming Elphaba also barely moved whilst she slept. Glinda had observed it many times before that Elphaba seemed to wake, even in her own bed, in exactly the same position she had fallen asleep in. She just turned to lead and stayed like that all night. And lead was exactly how heavy she felt, draped over Glinda in the carriage.

Glinda quite liked it though; the vague sensation of being crushed. She slipped an arm round her love's shoulders and Elphie never moved. With her other hand Glinda held one of Elphie's in her lap.

This was not, she assured herself, simply about gratuitous touches. The carriage lurched and bumped and she had a genuine fear Elphie would topple in to the footwell. But yes, Glinda suffered a longing to hold Elphie. Which was an absurd notion as she had never shown any inclination of wanting to be held in such a way.

A strand of a dream wafted in to Glinda's mind like a whiff of perfume. She had been dreaming about Caprice in the Pines, a strange combination of the holiday she had envisaged the other night and actual events. That had been such a strange, wonderful, terrifying time.

She allowed herself to slip back in to it.

Back at Crage Hall after the tense journey home Glinda had felt it somehow incumbent upon her to make some sort of amends. She felt more comfortable then, back in the safety of her familiar room and out of the terrible scrutiny of Pfannee and ShenShen.

"It was regrettable, what happened," she had begun in a roundabout way, fiddling with the frills of her bedspread whilst Elphaba unpacked. "But, now, I can't say I am entirely sorry it did happen."

Elphaba fixed her with a incredulous stare. "It was a joke played on me."

"It was a joke played on myself too."

"Oh Galinda, leave yourself out of it. It was a hoax on me by that ridiculous Miss Pfannee – though I am inclined to blame Boq, in actual fact, for convincing me to go. He bears a large part of the blame. My natural inclination was very much the opposite."

"Well then I am also to blame as well as being a victim."

Elphaba scoffed at that but she continued. "I made a rather serious error of judgement in reference to you one night and Pfannee wished to punish and torture me for it."

Elphaba frowned, more in intrigue than annoyance it seemed. "How so?"

"Oh I don't know," She attempted to make light. "I think I tried to refer to your opinion on something, by accident really."

"My 'opinion on something'?"

"Yes, we were talking about – goodness I don't remember what – but whatever it was I remembered something you had said about it. And I just started to say it. I guess I forgot..." She wasn't sure what it was she forgot. She just knew it had been a mistake.

"You forgot you weren't supposed to care about my opinions? You forgot I was supposed to be an irrelevance? You forgot I was mean and green and not to be mentioned in polite company?"

She was aghast but Elphaba seemed quite matter of fact. So she was matter of fact too. "Yes."

Elphaba, bizarrely, actually smiled. "Well, thank you. Thank you for forgetting. And thank you for remembering in the first place."

This was not the response she had been expecting. But then, whenever did Elphaba comply with the response one was expecting?

That conversation had troubled her, afterwards, and some months later she had brought it up again. They had already changed so much, by then, in the aftermath of Dr Dillamond's death and Ama Clutch's illness.

Glinda had been falling. It had been a new and obviously unpleasant experience but she didn't really think about it like that. She felt that parts of her were breaking off and falling away, she was being dismantled and stripped down. But a lot of the parts she lost she could not be sorry for.

And Elphaba was there, always there, holding her together enough that she did not disintegrate but not trying to influence or shape her. Just holding her, gently, allowing her to become whatever it was she was becoming with no ulterior motive.

When Galinda became Glinda and came to rest, it was in the strength of Elphaba's arms. She had been caught and now, from the other end of the journey, she was able to recognise it all as a metamorphosis.

Glinda was made anew. And Elphaba had changed too. That was exactly what they had talked about. By the time she had the courage to return to the whole sorry Lake Chorge mess and their conversation afterwards Elphaba characteristically could barely remember something of such a trivial nature.

"Oh yes," Elphie chuckled eventually. "When you made the grievous error of referring to me in public."

"You said it was only Boq who had induced you to come."

"He was taken with the idea and would not close his mouth on the subject for well over a week. His motivations were entirely dishonourable, of course. Though less than Avaric with the other two."

Glinda gave a nod of agreement. "Well _his_ arrival Pfannee and ShenShen did not disapprove of. You did them rather a favour, if by accident."

"I can't say I'm a particular fan of either of them," Elphaba mused. "But their characters have improved inordinately haven't they? Must be the better influence of that other one. And you, of course, my dear."

Glinda felt this was all getting rather off topic. "Milla? Yes, I suppose," she replied offhandedly.

"And you. I'm paying you a rare compliment, I'm not going to let you overlook it."

Glinda was trying to be serious but couldn't help smiling a little as her cheeks coloured.

Elphaba turned back to her book, imagining the conversation concluded, but Glinda had barely begun.

"Boq thought I wrote that I needed you."

Elphaba now used a receipt as a bookmark and closed the book fully, rather than just peering over it as she had been doing. Glinda took this as a sign the importance of the conversation was being recognised. But her room mate said nothing, simply continued to observe albeit with more attention.

"I know what she wrote. I made it my masochistic mission to do so. I wanted to know the full extent of my humiliation. What did you think she had meant – or, I had meant – about why I wanted you there? Things I couldn't tell you? And if you thought it might be true that I might need you, why would you not come?"

Elphaba sighed and swung her legs off the bed, sitting more fully facing Glinda. "The thing is, my dear Glinda, that while plenty has been said about your behaviour last year little has been said about mine."

Glinda was taken aback. "But you were never more than steadfast in the face of cruelty from all sides."

"Maybe I was that. But I was more: I was haughty and arrogant and bad tempered. Mistrustful, vengeful, sulky, proud. Still am. We were both different people. Think, at the time, even though you had been in some distress... you didn't want me there."

Glinda knew that were only partially true but it was all she had ever admitted, so she nodded.

"You are looking at this purely from the point of view of the now. And things were very different then. As you say there had been some amount of cruelty, you can't imagine I was willing to rush head first in to that? I was suspicious and wary. And cowardly: had I truly believed you were in trouble I should have gone in to Lake Chorge itself for you, much good that would do anyone."

"It's ridiculous, really." Glinda was getting overwhelmed.

"No," Elphie said with an enormous amount of sympathy in her voice. "But if that were to happen now I assure you things would be very different."

"Aside from the fact I will be accepting no such invitations," Glinda pointed out, which made Elphie laugh. With relief, she supposed. Glinda moved over to Elphie's bed to sit beside her.

"I don't think you were any of those things."

"Well you certainly thought I was some things objectionable," Elphie chuckled again. "But, on me too, you have been a good influence."

"Do you really think?" Glinda looked up at her.

"I _know_." Elphie pressed a kiss to Glinda's forehead. "Unfortunately however, not on my sense of fashion."

On that point Glinda had to agree. She still did agree. Not that she would have it change.

The carriage rumbled on. Glinda tightened her arms around Elphie and rumbled on with it, in to the unknown.

Except it was not so unknown. They were back in another tavern overnight. Another shared bed, another cold room. It had become the hallmark of the journey and Glinda was not-so-secretly thrilled.

Elphaba was at the bar ordering some food and drink. "Freshly squeezed, mind." Glinda heard her telling the waitress sternly.

Their food arrived and Glinda was hungry. It was, well, edible. And that had a lot more value than it had done a week ago.

Elphaba however was looking at her glass suspiciously. It did look a bit pale. "Check this for me, will you?"

Glinda took a pointless sip. "I can't tell." She was supposed to be discerning whether it were diluted and the probable percentage of dilution. She'd tried before but never could. "You did ask -"

"I know." Elphaba frowned and continued to silently interrogate it.

"Just put your finger in."

Elphie shook her head. "My finger will definitely burn. Doesn't mean I can't drink it."

Hilariously she lowered her head and stuck out her tongue.

"You look like a cat," Glinda giggled.

"How many green cats have you ever seen?" Elphaba made a spitting face as the drink burnt her tongue. "Ow."

"I can feel a refund coming on," Glinda sagely predicted.

"There'd better be," Elphie muttered as she carried the offending glass away.

Arriving back with a glass of milk Elphie was about to take swig – Elphaba did not sip – but she stopped. "Would you prefer me to get a saucer?"

Glinda was supposed to laugh but she could only look at her friend with a smile of helpless longing. Elphie seemed to take this as an error of judgement on her part and took several long gulps to the point of choking a little. That caused Glinda, in _complete_ innocence she was sure, to reach over the table and wipe away a dribble of milk from Elphie's chin.

It was a simple, almost motherly touch. But it was a touch. And they had seemingly deliberately avoided doing that all day. At least Elphie had and Glinda had only indulged herself as Elphie slept. They weren't the most tactile of friends; it had meant to much for too long already, been charged even before yesterday or the binding spell even. But they were reasonably touchy with each other and affectionate on top of that.

But today Glinda had been very aware of them both hovering around each other. The whole not-touching tactic was only drawing attention to what it was supposed to be avoiding. They were always too near for comfort, for it not to be causing lumps in throats and terrible yearnings. But not close enough for it to be undeniably beyond the bounds of friendship and propriety.

Glinda herself was positively bursting with expectation. She was on tenterhooks for another kiss. Though she had told herself if that yesterday had been the first and last she would die happy it turned out to have been an appalling lie. She was happy but she was by no means content. Or satiated. In fact she doubted that would ever be the case. Even if by some wonderful miracle their lips became permanently attached Glinda did not think it would be enough.

Having been there she only wanted to go back. But what about Elphie? Well, what about Elphie? She knew the green girl better than anyone in the world and still the vast majority of the time had no clue as to what was going on with her.

Except now they were just staring at one another, just in thrall. Glinda only really noticed when the trance was broken by some of their fellow travellers arriving in the pub and greeting them.

Glinda managed a dazed greeting in return. Elphaba said nothing.

She reflected that the evenings and night times might be fun but the day time travelling was getting pretty old pretty fast. That other couple looked positively haggard from the experience.

"How much longer, do you think?" Glinda wondered idly.

"Not a clue," Elphie pronounced, evidently having righted her mind. "They said eight or nine days but I have no idea on what basis. Where are we now? Day four?"

Glinda giggled. "It'll be our anniversary in a few days." Immediately she rather regretted that and thought she would spin Elphie out again but she just grinned and took it in her stride. Really she could be so unpredictable.

"I'll take you somewhere nice for dinner to celebrate a week since your kidnapping."

"You know, Miss Thropp, people call those dates."

Flushing Elphie gamely continued. "I have actually heard of those. I've read about them in books."

"You don't read those kind of books!"

"Maybe. Maybe I looked it up especially."

How was this possible? How was Elphie so, well, _flirty_, for want of no better word, but reduced to abject terror by anything actual?

"You're a funny one," she said quietly.

"I know," Elphie said, affecting her breezy tone. But it was only an affectation and they both knew it. "And yet, here _you_ are."

"But I was kidnapped," she reminded Elphie.

"Ah. Forgot that. Damn. There goes that theory." Elphie actually snapped her fingers.

Glinda smiled and yawned at the same time.

"Turning in?"

"I don't really want to," Glinda admitted.

Elphie just smiled, stood and held out her hand.

Back up in their room Glinda was sure it was going to happen again. It needed to happen again. Today. Before Elphaba spun so many threads in her head that she was completely incapacitated. Glinda held on to that hand, calling Elphie to her silently.

After the door was closed there was a moment, that hovering. Elphaba hovered, just ever so slightly out of reach. Glinda watched, rapt, as she licked her lips. And then, less rapt, more bereft, as Elphie walked away.

It seemed to be taking Elphaba so long in the bathroom that Glinda just went ahead and got undressed. Missing out on that spectacle would be Elphie's punishment, she decided. So when Elphie got back Glinda was already wrapped up in bed.

"Are you going to..?"

"No."

Elphaba's eyebrows communicated some sort of surprise. Or trepidation. The lamp was turned off and Elphie got in to the bed, staying a perfectly respectable distance away. As distanced as one could get in that small a bed.

"Come here," Glinda requested. Elphie shuffled. Glinda wrapped her arms around the foolish girl. Elphie's arms moved to cover her own.

"Good night, Elphie."

"Good night, Glinda."

This was it, Glinda thought. She had been waiting all day and it was almost gone and she was not going to wait one single clock tick longer. She was already so close, closer than they had been all day. She could hear Elphie's breathing, she could feel Elphie's heart. Tentatively she moved her hand to brush some hair from Elphie's face.

Elphaba's eyes met her own and there was a wild sort of terror in them. Glinda pushed herself further up the pillow so she was at the same height. Her fingers ran over Elphie's cheek, across her lips. Elphie's eyes were closing and she was having difficulty breathing. Glinda took these to be good signs. She knew it was wanted. They just had to be brave in allowing themselves to be vulnerable.

"Elphie..." she whispered. "Elphie, I want you to kiss me. I need you to kiss me."

Elphaba's eyes opened and in the darkness they looked black. Glinda didn't even have time to inhale before Elphaba was kissing her with a passion as deep and dark as her eyes.

When she fell asleep – Ozma only knew how much later – she may not have been sated but she was very content and very, very happy.

* * *

><p>Author's note: There was originally a much bigger chunk of flashback about Caprice in the Pines but it got <em>way<em> too big and wasn't entirely relevant. So I posted it as a one shot: Capricious at Caprice, or check my profile if interested in a bit of old school not-quite-Gelphie-yet fun.


	5. Chapter 5

Having become wonderfully accustomed to waking up wrapped in Elphaba's arms Glinda was aware that this was not the case almost while she was still sleeping. It didn't take long for her to struggle awake and she leant up in bed looking around with a fair amount of alarm. Perhaps she had finally driven Elphaba to madness and been abandoned.

But no, Elphie was here, dressed and coming out of the wash room with her wash bag. There was no glance over to the bed though, no look in Glinda's direction. Perhaps if not complete madness then more nerves? Anger, even? Feeling a panic rising in her Glinda blurted out "Morning!"

Elphie looked over at her, surprise giving way to a little smile. Coming and perching on the edge of the bed she smoothed down Glinda's hair, not shy about trailing those long fingers down Glinda's cheek either.

Rather impressed with this Glinda swung from despair to ecstasy in a heart beat.

"Hello," Elphie was smiling in the most beautific way. "I didn't wake you. I thought you could get a bit longer."

Her voice feeling thick she said "Won't you come back for a while?"

"I'm dressed."

What in Oz did that have to do with anything? She pouted. Elphie just smiled some more. She fiddled with the cuff of Elphie's sleeve then allowed her fingers to drop down to the back of Elphie's hand. There was a quick flicker of brown eyes in that direction but then they were righted.

"Did you, um, want some breakfast?"

Breakfast thus far had been a rather slap dash affair of fruit and the occasional messy pastry eaten whilst waiting for the coach. They never seemed to have enough time.

Elphie continued. "I could... bring one up for you?"

"That would be lovely," Glinda breathed.

Nodding, Elphaba left. Glinda pushed herself up to sitting in the bed feeling quite strange in a deliriously happy sort of a way. She had little time to dwell on it though as Elphaba was almost immediately back in the room with a tray that she laid delicately in Glinda's lap.

"Let me take the tea off you and pour it over here..." Elphaba was saying.

"Be careful," Glinda warned. "It's hot. And wet."

"I should hope so," Elphie conceded shockingly without sarcasm, just a gentle teasing. "Otherwise there will be another refund in the works."

"This was quick," Glinda noted, holding out a piece of toast to Elphie who, scandalously, took a bite out of it straight out of Glinda's hand. You're quick too, she thought. Got over that little hiccup rather well. Cured by kissing. More kissing it is then.

"I sort of had it on order already," Elphie confessed, munching adorably on her mouthful of toast.

"Is this why you were up so early?"

Elphie nodded sort of warily. If Glinda hadn't been piled up with plates and tea and jam and all sorts she would simply have thrown herself at the girl.

"Thank you," she said in the most heart felt way possible.

"You're welcome," Elphie whispered before getting up and going off to fuss with her satchel.

Alright so they were _mostly_ over Elphie's little hiccup. Obviously it just needed more kissing. Glinda was confident she could cope with that.

The coach was made in plenty of time. Glinda hoped that now breakfast had been proven not to be too much of an impediment there may be more breakfasts. Or there were other things she could envisage doing in the early mornings. She sneaked a look over at Elphaba. Who was looking at her anyway.

"What?" Elphie said.

"I beg you pardon? How rude. Shouldn't it be 'How can I help you?' or something a little more refined."

"Is that an evasion?"

"Perhaps. What is it you want to know, anyway? You were looking at me so expectantly I assumed it was you who had something to say. Information to impart."

"You looked at me."

"Which you only knew because you were looking at me in the first place."

Elphaba considered that. "I was merely glancing in your direction."

"Is that so?" This was getting silly. In a nice way.

"Hush, you, or I'll be dropping you off at the nearest mauntery."

"No call for that." Glinda feigned distress. "You're just clutching at straws because you can't sweep out and run away to the library like you usually do when I am outwitting you."

That made Elphaba laugh. "Is that what I do? It's not to go and study or anything?"

"It is generally quite ill timed to the moments I am close to finally besting you in debate. But now you are a captive audience."

"I always was. Captive. Captivated. One or the other."

A little flood of warmth rushed through Glinda at those words. "Oh, you," she said in acknowledgement, not knowing really what else to say. "But, Lurline, we were awful to each other."

"I quite enjoyed it." Elphaba was back to that airy tone.

"That's because you did win all the arguments. You like it less now that I can fight back."

"Now that is entirely untrue," Elphie countered. "I liked... you... well enough but I like New Glinda very much."

Glinda noticed a hesitancy there and the ghost of Dr Dillamond hung between them, now recently accompanied by the spectre of Ama Clutch.

If the previous Glinda, or the in-flux Glinda, had held any expectation of her and Elphaba's new relationship she supposed it was that they would become closer and plateau as close friends, or maybe even best friends. She had never had a real best friend, not the kind other people talked about or you read in novels. Glinda's friendships had been delicately balanced affairs of deception and one upmanship.

But the affection she felt for Elphaba did not plateau. She realised she was starting with a much larger reserve than she had previously admitted to herself: without realising it, and even in their disputes, she had been absurdly fond of the girl. She was aware this was where Elphie had a head start. The other girl had been able to recognise this duality and it didn't seem to conflict or annoy her. Yet more proof of the superiority of Elphaba, Glinda felt.

Glinda was always struggling to catch up with her feelings, so used she was to prettily inventing them to please whatever company she was in. And though her feelings were developing rapidly she was aligning herself with them quicker. Once the intellectual mind and the emotional state dovetailed it all became rather interesting, being way past friendly affection.

She couldn't remember, now, when that had been. In a way it felt like she had always loved Elphaba. Even from before they met. It felt like a part of her that was not particularly dependent on the chronology of her life. More a feature of her existence. Comparable to her hair colour. Blonde hair, blue eyes, loves Elphaba.

To deflect from this little detour in her mind and the looming sadness of dwelling on lost friends Glinda extended her hand and put it over Elphie's, giving a little rub. Elphie intertwined their fingers.

"I think you might be the only one."

She got a quizzical look.

"Who prefers me now."

Elphaba looked at her with great intensity. "I do not think that is true. And even if it were, what would it matter? Do you like yourself? Maybe not 'like' exactly. More... do you feel true to yourself?"

"I feel... more true to myself." That was a bit of a hodge podge of the concept but it felt right.

"Issue resolved. I know you care about what other people think. But there needs to be limits to that or you end up like you were: so eager to please you stop even asking yourself what it is you want."

Glinda was rather taken aback by the insight of that remark. She hadn't quite known that was what Elphaba had thought.

"Sorry, I did not intend to upset you." Poor Elphaba though had taken Glinda's moments pause as a bad sign.

"No, not at all. I was just reflecting on your observation. Really you can quite befuddle me sometimes. No wonder we all spend so many hours analysing you."

Elphaba cocked her head at that.

Elphaba was, unbeknownst to her, a main feature of conversations between their friends. And family. Glinda used to use that time to test out ideas about the girl, theories about her feelings and their relationship. It was a strange conundrum. But not being able to talk with Elphie she felt compelled to verbalise things in some way with some one.

For instance, Glinda didn't know how Nessa would feel about... this. The girl was constantly on the lookout for sin but Glinda didn't know to what extent falling in love with one's best friend constituted a sin in Nessa's eyes. Nanny was another consideration.

She remembered two distinct conversations along these lines. The first had been just Nessa, Nanny and herself, she couldn't remember where. Maybe at a cafe or eating somewhere else. They had been talking, of course, about Elphaba. About their futures or Elphie's future in particular and Glinda had grown disconsolate.

"I just don't know," she'd huffed. "It's hard, knowing how brilliant she is. How... _Elphie_ she is. I'm scared it will take her away from me – from us, I mean."

Nessa had frowned a little and Nanny clucked.

"She'll never be away from you, dearie," Nanny pointed out quite confidently. "You're a bigger part of her 'brilliance' than you know."

Nessa had seemed uncomfortable but Glinda couldn't discern, then or now, whether this was in relation to Elphaba or Glinda and Elphaba's relationship that Nanny was referring to. Sometimes Nessa was more than willing to sing her sister's praises. Sometimes she looked like she would rather Elphaba just drop dead. They were strange siblings, so completely un-alike.

"I do love Nessa but she does rather suck all the attention from a room," Glinda said, feeling a bit mean but knowing Elphie would understand. Maybe even understand the unspoken part that Glinda wanted to be able to devote all her attention to Elphie, and have Elphie do the same to her. Besides, she wanted to get Elphie's take on her sister.

"You talk about me with Nessa?" Elphaba was faithfully trying to follow the breadcrumbs of Glinda's thought.

"Elphaba fully three quarters of our time is spent talking about you." Yes she had pulled that number from thin air but it sounded as reasonable as anything.

"I can't imagine what on earth you have to say."

"Well then you should desist from being so interesting, so shocking, so provoking all the time."

Elphaba looked genuinely perplexed, which Glinda still found implausible.

"It's not gossip or malicious or anything Elphie. It is a genuine attempt by us mere mortals to grasp some understanding of the enigma that is you."

"I had no idea." Elphaba said flatly.

"That you are of interest to people? Really, no idea?" She was still not sure she believed this, though Elphie was doing a good impression if it was just an act.

"Suspicion or disdain I had anticipated. And to which people are we referring?"

"Oh, you know... the usual."

"By which you mean everyone. I'm beginning to wish I just had gone to sleep. I'm not sure I want to know this."

"People talk. About people. But in this case it isn't just people, it is our friends. That is only natural. We talk, together. You discuss the actions and motivations of other people."

"Yes, but just with you. Mostly. But it is chatter, not a full blown inquisition in to their personality."

"Why is it so hard for you to believe you are interesting to people?"

"I don't set out to be interesting. I only set out to be, as we discussed, as true to myself as possible."

Changing tack Glinda could not resist chasing up that little lead. "And how do you fare at that?" There might have been a slight challenge in her tone.

If there was then Elphaba noticed it. She looked unblinkingly in to Glinda's eyes. "Very rarely as well as I should. But I do try."

Feeling rather weak under that stare Glinda matched her answer to the topic she knew was really under discussion. "I know you do, darling. And you do so well."

That moment of truth appeared to have left Elphaba empty of all other retorts. Glinda just raised up her arm and Elphie sank down in to her. She wasn't sure whether Elphie was still awake or asleep already when she pressed a gentle kiss in to her hair.

The coach stop was later than it had normally been though Glinda hadn't noticed any particular hold ups bar the usual goats in the road, carts having shed bales of straw, bags being left at break stops and so on. She felt quite the traveller. A train journey from Frottica to Shiz was relegated to as much importance as a wander down to the shops.

Elphaba was stood next to her as they looked over the road. Glinda, without looking down, slipped her hand in to Elphie's and hung on.

"Are you holding my hand?"

"No?" Glinda replied hopefully.

Elphaba held them up. Their fingers were intertwined. Out in the world.

"Well... you're holding it back."

Elphaba tucked the hands in to her cloak and they crossed the road where the clever thing managed to drive the price of their room down by a quarter and get their meals thrown in for free.

As they were eating Glinda asked for and received some rare Elphie stories about her own travels in Quadling Country.

"See, I could never do that," she said in almost a whine.

"And why not? Although it's not as though I decided on any of these... what you might call adventures. I was only a child."

"In all my childhood I never left the Pertha Hills."

"Well I have never been there, so we are even."

"It is not quite comparable to Quadling Country."

"Thankfully very little is or Oz would be in severe trouble."

Fearing an inevitable digression in to politics Glinda deflected. She loved hearing Elphaba rant but now was not the time. "Will you take me there, one time? And to Rush Margins? I would love to see where you grew up."

Looking cynical about that Elphie limited her remark to. "You don't need to wait for me to take you. You are perfectly capable of going on your own."

Now it was Glinda's turn to look cynical.

"You underestimate yourself, my sweet."

"Perhaps," Glinda allowed grudgingly. She didn't want this to be about her. "But the point was I wanted to go with you."

Evidently Elphie was in an expansively good mood. "I will take you anywhere. Everywhere."

"I'm going to hold you to that," she warned. Her hand moved over the table to Elphie's. It grasped tightly and was grasped tightly in return. The decision to return to their room was mutual and unspoken.

Upstairs Glinda leant herself on the wall and watched Elphie unlacing her boots. She felt quite confident she could watch this all day quite contentedly. Until one boot was removed and Elphie wiggled her toes.

"You are just too adorable."

Sat on the bed pulling off her other boot Elphie looked up for a moment. "Do you really think so?" Glinda was also quite confident Elphie had not been told that before. But there was no rebuttal, just genuine surprise.

"Yes I really think so, you foolish thing." Up against the wall she smiled and got a smile back. They fell in to a gaze, Glinda feeling absurdly happy. She rocked away on her heels, determined to go over and kiss the adorable and foolish thing. Somewhere in those few steps though her intention changed quite dramatically and she was overcome with a more intense desire.

With Elphaba sat on the edge of the bed Glinda straddled her lap, leaning down to lavish scorching kisses over Elphie's face and neck. Her hands were tangled in long, dark hair. Elphaba's own hands were running up Glinda's back, holding her in place. She was falling, with every kiss, every touch she was falling further and it was only Elphaba that held her, that caught her. And it was beautiful.

The hands that held her ran down to her waist and when they came back up again it was under her blouse. Glinda cursed her corset but it was still a wonderful sensation, no more so than when Elphie's hands reached her bare shoulders and she moaned in delight.

Determined to get more of this she reluctantly disengaged her hands momentarily and used them instead to start unbuttoning her blouse. Once Elphie noticed this she seemed only to eager to assist and did not even wait for Glinda to undo the last few buttons before, between insistent kisses, she ripped the blouse over Glinda's shoulders, trailing it down her arms and on to the floor.

Glinda assisted Elphie in wriggling out of her jumper and ran her hands up the exposed arms, dipping back down to work on the thankfully few buttons at the back. Elphie's eyes were fixed on her as it fell down to the bed and for a moment Glinda worried that whatever her reaction was it might not be what Elphie wanted. Evidently she need not have worried.

Managing to half stand Elphie lifted them on to the bed, Glinda's legs tight around her waist. Then she was flipped over on to her front as Elphie undid her corset, hands working all the time Glinda's neck was being kissed. Glinda moaned in to the pillow when the wretched corset was finally disposed of and Elphie's flesh pressed fully against her bare back.

She wanted Elphie everywhere and everywhere is exactly what she got. She had never felt a need like it. Any desire she had experienced in the past was a laughably pale shadow in comparison to this. And Elphaba? Well Elphaba didn't need. She didn't yearn or crave or desire. Until now. Until now. Glinda knew it.

Impatiently they shod their other clothes, barely missing a beat of this momentum. The priority seemed to be as much skin on skin contact as possible and Glinda was in heaven. Her heart pounded so that she was sure the whole bed must be reverberating. She couldn't control herself and she didn't want to.

Elphie however was getting frustrated with herself. There were elbows everywhere, headboard and footboard confining, long black hair getting in the way... Glinda shushed Elphie with a gentle kiss, a different kind, a reassuring kind. She gently stroked Elphie's face that hovered above her, smiling as she did so. She ran her hands through that amazing hair, gathering it and flipping it over Elphie's shoulder.

"I love you," she murmured, running a thumb along Elphie's sharp eyebrow and down her cheek. "I love you," she whispered again and again. "You are perfect." A spell that said 'you can do no wrong' until it was drowned out by more of Elphaba's disorienting kisses.

The feverish and frantic movements of their bodies became more confident then, with reassurance and trust. They roamed across each other with passion and reverence until Glinda's increasing whimpering took Elphaba down a new course.

Elphie – it must have been that musical inclination – easily found Glinda's rhythm, synchronised it seemed with the beating of Glinda's heart. Glinda moaned in to a green shoulder which only seemed to increase the other girl's ardour to the point where Glinda had to bite down to keep from crying out, having exactly the same effect.

All Glinda wanted in that moment was to press herself entirely in to Elphie, for green skin to open itself up and take her inside it, envelop her fully. It seemed monstrous and tragic that it weren't possible but that wasn't going to stop her from trying.

In a different way she could feel the same thing happening: with Elphaba's tongue in her mouth, lips all over her body, tongue in other places, Elphie was consuming her. Hands grazing over skin would never be the same again, their eyes met in a way that was changed forever, sweat mingled.

Elphaba was becoming her and she was becoming Elphaba. Dismantling each other piece by piece, right down to the cellular level. Glinda, not normally one for romanticising the strange mechanisations of the body, could now only think of everything that she contained of Elphaba, marked on to her very soul, in her lungs, ingrained on her skin, alive and well bubbling through her veins.

After a while any cognisant thought was halted and Glinda could only _feel_. She was rising up, up, up and Elphaba was nowhere and everywhere and there was nothing around them and nothing between them.


	6. Chapter 6

That morning Glinda decided to forego her corset. It seemed only sensible.

She could not forego the permanent smile plastered on her face. After some good morning kisses Elphie had swung herself out of bed and started dressing with the clothes that were conveniently right there on the floor. Glinda had marched her fingers up Elphaba's back, counting the vertebrae. Elphie had turned and smiled, leant down and kissed her. It was all exactly as she had imagined and yet so much more.

Cornering Elphie by the door before they went down for the coach Glinda kissed her some more. Just lightly, just playfully, still smiling as she did so. This was getting easier and easier.

When they broke apart Elphie looked at her quizzically. "What is it?"

"I'm just happy. You make me happy."

Elphie looked at a complete loss. So Glinda kissed her again.

They came as close as they had ever come to delaying the coach. Glinda hoped this would not cause a ban on morning kisses. She looked over to Elphie apologetically and got a smirk in return. Evidently not too concerned either.

With Elphie making a valiant effort to stay awake they attempted some small talk but it made Glinda fractious and confused. Now the kissing had become routine, now they were exploring other parts of themselves, now they were becoming infinitely more intimate other situations felt wrong. Particularly this one with the cramped carriage and the strangers.

It was too easy. Loving Elphie was too easy. So not being able to love her was too hard.

Eventually the lulls in the conversation saw Elphie's head drooping again.

"Sleep, Elphie," Glinda instructed softly.

"I wanted to stay awake for you."

"You stay awake for me all night, you silly thing. If you must do that then at least sleep for me now."

So Elphie slept during the morning at least and after eating only the barest crust of bread for lunch insisted on staying awake. With nothing to do and the intimacy stifling them they ended up playing cards with another couple, one of their first real interactions with anyone else.

Elphaba did not seem happy about this, but bent to Glinda's will. After cards were tossed aside impatiently yet another time Glinda smiled at their companions apologetically.

"She's easily stirred," Glinda said, by way of no real explanation.

"I prefer 'cranky'," Elphaba said. "Maybe even 'irascible'."

"As you wish, dear," Glinda murmured, trying to will Elphie to behave with her eyes, a fool's errand she knew.

Helpfully Glinda's hand at that moment turned out to be rather good. Better than good, winning in fact. "Oh! Would you look at that!"

"How convenient," muttered her opponent.

"Now, now Elphie. Are you accusing me of cheating? It's just not in your nature to admit defeat."

She saw their opposite numbers exchanging glances between themselves. This was why they did not socialise.

"You know how stubborn I can be, my sweet. Sometimes I need rescuing from myself." Elphie sounded perfectly calm for someone apparently in need of rescue.

"How can I assist you then?"

"We can stop playing this game." Elphie threw her cards down for the final time.

"At least you tried," Glinda consoled as she handed the cards back to the other passengers with her sweetest smile.

"You are altogether too good to me." Elphaba was trying to charm her.

"I am well aware," Glinda said haughtily, but smiled. She didn't need any more charming.

At the inn Glinda again watched proudly as Elphie negotiated their accommodation. Elphie was getting very accomplished at bartering and Glinda was very impressed. She was sure she would be appalling and said as much to Elphie.

An eyebrow went up in the air. "Do you want to try? It's not that I don't think you can't," Elphie paused to consider her words. "More that I didn't think you wanted to. You don't like financial transactions or seedy establishments, never mind both at the same time."

Glinda laughed and ruffled her hair. Elphie knew her all too well. It wasn't that she wanted to try, more that she felt that Elphie should not have to be taking all the burden and responsibility on herself.

"We would end up paying three times the rate _and_ sleeping under a table in the bar," she remarked glibly.

She felt Elphie roll in to her shoulder with her own. "You're underestimating yourself."

"You keep saying that."

"Well it keeps being true."

Glinda could do little more than gaze at Elphie. Her throat grew thick and all she could see was green skin in the moonlight and long black hair. She blinked abruptly to snap herself out of it. Not that it was unpleasant – at all – more overwhelming. Is this what their friendship was now? Withering sarcasm by day and rampant lust by night? Part of Glinda thought that might be a problem but part of her found it perfectly acceptable.

Perhaps she had started to drool or similarly betrayed her thoughts as Elphie looked at her and quietly said "We should get ourselves upstairs." So they did.

The fears and concerns that Glinda found herself with were nothing like the ones she had imagined she might have when, in her wildest dreams, she had imagined her relationship with Elphie taking this course. She had been scared Elphie would find her wanting in some way. But a simple glance in Elphaba's direction at almost any random time – when more likely than not her eyes would be on Glinda – showed that were hardly true. And last night... well. Glinda had never felt so exquisitely, perfectly formed as when Elphie had looked at her, touched her, loved her.

There was a laundry list of other concerns: Glinda's own inexperience, potential rejection, damage that might be done to their friendship, discovery, separation, conversely being unable separate and expiring in bed from starvation... it was a varied bunch.

None of which had transpired at all either in fact or as a worry in Glinda's mind. She had been afraid Elphie would leave her. Not straight away, but in time or eventually. That seemed impossible too. As attentive and protective as Elphaba was normally was nothing to the new attention inspired by their strange circumstances and though Elphie might threaten her with the mauntery Glinda knew her friend would sooner leave her head behind than abandon Glinda to the world.

What she had not envisaged were the things she actually felt.

There was concern over Elphie's processing power about all of this. Glinda wasn't sure whether Elphie was either struggling to understand or over-understanding. Somehow Glinda had always imagined Elphie was one step ahead of her. That really had been the case for a long time but somehow at the final hurdle Glinda had not only caught up but overtaken. It was unsettling not necessarily in itself but because it seemed so atypical.

Probably most worrying... well not _worrying_, Glinda challenged herself but was unable to come up with a better description, worryingly... was the nature of the change it had taken to blow the cover of their feelings and force actual action. If Glinda was afraid of anything it was that this was a temporary insanity brought on by stress. Enjoyable – vastly enjoyable – but temporary.

Desperately unwilling to be the neurotic and messy one Glinda had been trying to hold these thoughts back.

Aside from fretting about Nessa another interesting and relevant event she now recalled had been when Glinda was helping Nanny with some shopping in the town centre and they had come across other Ama's on their errands. Glinda suspected Nanny had some sort of inferiority complex when it came to the Amas. Nanny would have you believe that she felt them inferior to her but Glinda knew this professional classes of nurses, babysitters, supervisors and chaperones and knew it was a complicated arrangement.

Involving Glinda, so obviously not being particularly concerned she was there and hearing all this, they had started up a conversation about was seemed to be their favourite subject: young men.

"Do not think we wish simply to ruin your fun," an Ama remarked to Glinda. "You are here to study without distraction or injury and that is all we wish to ensure."

Someone else said "It is an incessant plague of these young men. They near enough swarm the walls!" And she wasn't even Pfannee or ShenShen or one of the more popular girls' Amas.

"The little blighters aren't allowed in Crage Hall, simply call the Hall officials to escort them out."

"Ha! Were it only that simple!" Nanny consoled herself. Glinda blushed and Nanny looked straight at her with a gaze that Glinda interpreted as an understanding that _boys_ were not the problem here.

Despite her concern over Ama Clutch and Nanny's seeming omniscience unsettling her Glinda did prefer a life of rather less supervision. Nanny was mostly taken up with Nessa, so within their own room her and Elphie were more or less left to their own devices. She wondered now whether that was deliberate or indeed just convenience. And to what end? Was this Nanny's tacit blessing? Or did she want them to get themselves in to terrible trouble?

What kind of trouble? Glinda was fairly sure Morrible would not allow them to continue sharing a room if they were also sharing a bed. Whilst she was not convinced they could be discreet they could at least be inventive. Well, Elphaba could be inventive. The idea of Elphaba arriving up a drainpipe and through her window every night was quite appealing, in fantasy at least.

It was a nice fantasy. Maybe she could just ask Elphie to do it one day anyway. She would never surrender their every day life though. There would have to be some discretion. Their friends would protect them, Nanny and Nessa would never betray them. That still left room for there to be secret rendezvous. Glinda's mind wandered to visions of Elphie's long bare legs in the stacks of the library. This was getting far too distracting. And enticing. But the daydreams would have to wait.

She felt she could really rather do with talking this over with Elphaba. Not only was she involved in this situation but she was just in general very useful for sounding dilemmas out against, in all but her most sarcastic moods at least.

"Have you thought about what might happen when we get home?"

Elphie was arranging their bags and looked up. "I have to admit I haven't thought much past seeing the Wizard. I suppose we will have some explaining to do. _I_ will have some explaining to do," she corrected herself.

"Mm," Glinda agreed but that wasn't entirely what she had meant. "But past that..."

"You mean assuming Nanny doesn't have me skinned and turned in to a rug? That Morrible doesn't have me strait jacketed and or expelled?"

Glinda was not going to bite. If those were the sorts of fantasies Elphie had about their return then she could keep them. Glinda had plenty of her own. "Yes. Assuming those things."

"No?"

Never quite able to work out how someone so apparently clever could so often be so infuriatingly clueless Glinda decided she just had to spell it out more clearly.

"I mean, with us." To further emphasise what she might be referring to Glinda ran the very tips of her fingers down the back of Elphie's bare arm, causing the flesh to shiver.

"Oh." For a blessed moment Elphaba was lost for words. Only a moment though. "I said I was going to take you out, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did say that."

"On a date. So that would make us... dating? Is that right?"

It wasn't wrong, Glinda reasoned. It was actually more of a commitment than she had been aiming for. But there was Elphie frowning.

"Elphie darling you needn't look so worried. It's supposed to be nice." Nice was not Glinda's first choice of word but she had discarded the others as too likely to unnerve Elphie.

"It is, it is nice. I am rather looking forward to it all. Whatever it is. I just, I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy. I know you said I did and I can't imagine how or why I do. But I want to."

Elphie's look was so heartfelt, so open, there was only one thought Glinda held in her mind and she was going to say it, whatever happened.

"Because I love you, Elphie."

Elphaba looked torn which translated as sort of distracted and fidgety. And was silent. Really, Glinda had known that. She had known she wouldn't hear it back.

Glinda had called it out in their lovemaking but now she was saying it in the clear light of almost-day. It couldn't be misheard or misunderstood or explained away. It was there. It wasn't even that saying it necessarily changed anything. It had been there anyway, unspoken for so long. And she knew Elphie felt it too. But what to do? Fight it out of her? She couldn't.

This kind of thing clearly bothered Elphie, distressed her beyond the point Glinda had ever seen her. Unspooled by something so simple as love. The mighty Elphaba Thropp. It hardly seemed possible. Glinda decided she didn't care. She had Elphaba's love. She had Elphaba's life, if she asked for it. She had Elphaba. That was enough.

"I would do anything for you."

There it was. A truth as good as any. Elphaba _did_. Elphaba acted. Elphaba took feelings and made them real.

The action now was to kiss Glinda on the forehead, then briefly on the lips and then Glinda was pulled close and held tightly. She pressed her face in to Elphie's chest and Elphie tucked her head down as close to Glinda as possible. Clinging to each other like that Glinda was in no doubt of the feelings behind it.

They ate in their room, Glinda certainly did not trust herself to be in public with Elphie and Elphie obviously felt the same. She just wanted to be alone. They barely talked, just a few muffled giggles as Elphie tried to hand feed Glinda mashed potato, which ended rather messily, and then played some ridiculous game of trying to hide peas on her bare arm.

It was an elaborate ploy to cheer her up, Glinda knew. And she was beyond grateful, enjoying the foolish clowning Elphie who was perfectly willing to surrender her own dignity in the service of making Glinda happy. It was a rare treat that Glinda knew no-one else in all of Oz was allowed.

Another rare treat that no-one else in all of Oz was allowed was having Elphaba slide across the bed to run her hands through their hair, to kiss their neck with soft, searching lips in a way that forced their eyes closed, that sucked air from their lungs. This was Glinda's. It was hers only. Elphie was hers only.

After cruelly kissing Glinda to befuddlement Elphie broke away and stood up. "I'm going to get ready for bed."

"Not _too_ ready," Glinda teased, making Elphie flush. She went across the hall to the bathroom to pick potato from her hair and was quickly back in their room, anxiously awaiting whatever delights the rest of the evening held.

She loitered in the doorway just watching. Elphie's hands went through her long dark hair, gathering it up and as she turned Glinda saw a hair tie being held in her mouth.

"Hold on just a clock tick. What do you think you're doing?"

Elphie paused, arms still in the air.

"Putting my hair up," Elphie mumbled around the tie, a look on her face that part said Glinda ought to know why and was part embarrassed that Glinda might guess why.

That Elphaba's mind was also on what was very likely to happen once they got in to bed amused Glinda a good deal. But this was not acceptable.

"Oh no you don't," she said, moving across. She lowered Elphie's arms and whipped the obstruction from Elphie's mouth before kissing her. She ran her hands through Elphie's hair, shaking it out and flipping some of it back over her own shoulders for good measure. "The hair stays," she said severely.

In response Elphie manoeuvred her quite urgently over to the bed where they tumbled down together. Glinda was on her back, looking up at Elphie propped up fully on her arms, hair hanging down. She near enough growled in appreciation and dragged Elphie lower, against her mouth.

Moving with more confidence tonight Elphie made a show of peeling off Glinda's clothes, happily infinitely easier due to her lack of corset which seemed to be appreciated.

"Glinda... " Elphie crooned as she moved her lips across Glinda's stomach, making her writhe. "My pretty... My sweet, beautiful Glinda..."

Glinda couldn't quite be sure Elphie even knew what she was mumbling in to Glinda's burning skin. But none of that mattered.

Elphie started to disappear lower but Glinda pulled her back up. She wanted her close, wanted to look in to her eyes. "Stay with me," she breathed, helpless against her love. Elphie kissed her again and again whilst Glinda trembled and shook.

Glinda started to disappear lower in return but Elphie reached down and gathered her up. They sat in the middle of the bed, Elphie's arms and legs around her. She clung to Elphie's neck as she trembled and shook all over again.

The rest of Oz could be consumed in fire and plague but there was a different world in Elphaba's arms, where time slowed and earthly concerns evaporated.


	7. Chapter 7

Glinda rolled and yawned. Flashes of last night came back to her as she became aware of Elphaba's hands on her body. She was sure she had finally fallen asleep at more or less the other end of the bed. Elphie must have shifted her. She wriggled some more, forcing the hands to move around her. She heard Elphie chuckle.

Caught. She opened an eye and looked up.

"Good morning my lovely," Elphie said.

"Morning Elphie."

Try as she might Glinda found herself unable to formulate – much less use – any endearments for Elphie other than her nickname. Aside from the fact she feared once she opened the floodgates she might never be able to stop there seemed nothing even vaguely appropriate to the wonderful enigma that was Elphaba Thropp.

That Elphaba's conversation was littered with offhand compliments and endearments seemed just another natural part of the mildly patronising personality. She used them – on the boys, Nessa and Nanny, at least – as more or less an insult. Glinda had only generic phrases, the words her Amas used on her as a child, buffed in to meaninglessness by their use in polite conversation. She had probably used 'darling' on Pfannee and ShenShen more than Elphie. Maybe she was like Elphie. Maybe it had been a weapon. On each other all the words were different, new.

Glinda shook it off and kissed Elphaba on the nose which either surprised or delighted Elphie, or both.

"Have you been awake all night again? You're worrying me."

"I can't help it now," Elphie said, trying to allay Glinda's worries. "I've managed to turn the usual sleeping habits upside down. Besides, I enjoy watching you sleep. I always have."

Glinda felt giddy, except that she was safely laid in bed. "I like it when you sleep, next to me, in the carriage."

Again with that face. Surprise or delight?

Pushing a little further she spoke of the motivations behind it. "I like feeling like I could look after you."

"You could," Elphie said in to Glinda's lips. "You do. You are."

Later as Elphie heaved the bags hurriedly on to the coach and Glinda apologised profusely to the coachman and the other passengers she caught Elphie's eye and neither could suppress a self satisfied smirk. Morning kisses may not make them late but other things in the morning must either be more carefully curtailed or avoided. Glinda did not think she could avoid the allure of Elphaba's body in the morning light or avoid any of Elphie's advances so they would just have to learn how to speed things up a bit.

Gratifyingly Elphie seemed quite happy to curl up in Glinda's arms and sleep on the coach. And Glinda did like it. She could look after Elphie, she would.

Romantic notions plagued Glinda incessantly. They had been doing so for quite a long time. She couldn't pinpoint when exactly but she had found herself almost wishing Elphie would catch a cold – which never happened – so she could fuss and look after her. Elphaba remained annoyingly robust. There was barely so much as a headache from all that reading, a sprained wrist from carrying all those books... Elphie's endless energy and seeming indestructibility had irritated Glinda immensely at first.

Although vaguely aware there were other ways of caring for and looking after people Glinda realised she mostly viewed it in the context of invalidity and injury. That was the fault of her Amas, again, and of her parents her only ever paid her much attention when she was ill in some way which had given the child Glinda something of a hypochondriac streak.

Knowing full well that Elphaba did not 'do' victimhood in that way Glinda supposed she would just have to find other ways. Except Elphie had said she was looking after her, that she did. She couldn't quite envisage that. But then Elphie couldn't see how happy she made Glinda, was it not the same thing? Glinda decided to trust Elphie on that one and see if maybe Elphie could trust her in return.

So she tightened her hold on her precious Elphie and sat out her own vigil.

In a sort of balancing act that day the coach was earlier than usual arriving at their nightly stop. They could go no further, there was not another stop within distance to reach that day so the passengers disembarked cheerfully and mostly headed off to the pubs.

Elphie used their advantage of time to steal a march on any other travellers arriving later and managed to secure a slightly more reputable accommodation for the night. After looking over their room and developing non-matching pink and dark green flushes over the size of the double bed before Glinda threw herself on it and spread her arms and legs as wide as she could, Elphaba announced she was leaving.

That was not what Glinda had in mind. Elphaba had seen the bed, had she not? They had plenty of time before supper.

"I'm going for a walk."

"What's wrong? Elphie what is it?"

"Nothing." The look on Elphie's face was genuine, concern though for Glinda's worry. "Nothing."

"Oh." Glinda felt foolish. "I just thought maybe I'd..."

Glinda wondered about this. About love, making you paranoid. That however wonderful you might feel there was a fear lurking just beneath the surface ready to swallow you up. Elphaba would never understand that. She would never feel it, Glinda was sure. So she would never know how much she frightened Glinda sometimes.

"You are more than welcome to come with me." There was a look on her face that said, maybe, against all Glinda's reasoning, maybe she did know. "I would like that a lot." Maybe in the end it was Glinda who underestimated Elphaba, too.

Outside it was still light, not that light improved the depressing scenery of rickety houses with scrubby fields behind them.

Elphaba set off down the main street towards a glimpse of that countryside.

"Elphie, goodness, you're practically running. I can't keep up."

Elphaba slowed. "I don't like sitting all day."

"At least not without a book," Glinda teased.

She looked at Elphie's long arms and legs, her rigid posture and marvelled at the energy contained within. Something about Elphie was missing if she was unable to storm about in a billow of hair and cloak, dramatically appearing and disappearing all the time leaving a trail of inspiration and heartbreak and who knew what else.

Maybe Elphie had an outdoor seduction planned. Though it seemed a shame to waste the decent bed they had lucked out on for once. Perhaps a hayfield? A nice grass meadow? Glinda shook herself. Really this was getting silly. At what point had she been so overcome by this? Could she not just simply enjoy her friend's company any more? No, she was over reacting. The lustful part of her was new and a little scary, frankly. But it wasn't the only part of her.

They came to a rest a little way out of town. Glinda had thought Elphie quite capable of walking forever. More than once she had not quite jokingly suggested Elphie actually walk alongside the carriage. But she knew it was likely Elphie had only stopped on Glinda's account. Having spread out her cloak Elphie sat on the ground and Glinda followed her.

They sat side by side perfectly amiably. They didn't speak. Glinda wanted to know what Elphie was thinking but worried about the dark content it might contain. Looking out over the obviously impoverished and troubled world they lived in was probably making the girl fume. But then Elphie hadn't spoken, either.

After a while "It's getting dark," Glinda said unnecessarily.

"Are you cold?"

"No."

Elphie put an arm around her anyway and Glinda was not going to complain. It was not exactly a romantic scene looking out over the barren and stubbly farm land but Glinda was not going to complain about that either. Just being with Elphie was enough, even, she was assured to realise, just sitting. Things hadn't changed. They hadn't changed. The relationship, the friendship, they had had hadn't changed. Things had been added. New parts, not replacements.

The walk back in to town was gentler, in the dimming light. Elphie's arm stayed around Glinda's shoulders until they reached the first building and then it dropped. Glinda wrapped her arms around it instead, nuzzling her face in to Elphie's cloak which made Elphie laugh and pretend to stagger over.

In town the lamps were being lit and they stood to watch for a while. The darkness falling rapidly the lamps started to gather clouds of insects, battering themselves against the glass.

"Like a moth to a flame," Glinda joked in her best 'poetry' voice.

"The problem is," Elphie pontificated looking up at the lamp as Glinda just stood, leaning against her, studying the shadows that fell over beautiful features. "The moths get killed."

Torn between the pleasure of watching Elphaba and the displeasure at the ruining of a perfectly nice moment with Elphie's cynical realism Glinda was disturbed by the sound of shouting and a hair raising squealing. In addition Elphie whipped herself round so fast in that direction Glinda got a face full of hair.

"Elphie, wait," Glinda called ineffectually after her. "Before you just go rushing in..." It was no use.

The ruckus was nearby. Hot on Elphaba's heels Glinda rounded a corner to a side alley to see four men surrounding a Goat. Glinda's heart sank. Initially because of course it was a horrible situation. Not very far behind that though – and she knew it were selfish in a strangely altruistic way – was fear for Elphie. She glanced over at her, but the girl was frozen with a terrible frown on her face. Glinda felt an irrational anger at the Goat. Why couldn't he have been even just a Sheep?

Glinda tightened her hands in to fists and took a step forwards, possessed of some strange bravery. But in a moment her view was blocked by a swirling dervish of black cloak and hair. "Elphie!" she breathed as Elphaba actually snarled at the men. Glinda could only see her back but it was arched and poised; Elphie as wild and feral as she had ever been.

Monster unleashed she broke through the circle, pushing one of the men out of the way as his boot was in motion towards the squealing Goat. Glinda, not in the mood for being left behind, followed in Elphie's wake, tunnelling through the gap left by Elphaba between the surprised attackers.

The intrusion caused a break in the proceedings as the men stood more or less in confusion. The Goat took this opportunity to literally turn tail and flee, back out in to the main street. Vaguely Glinda noted that was in fact the only way out.

"No need to thank us!" Glinda called almost cheerfully, clearing channelling Elphaba's sarcasm.

Looking to be retreating the assailants were actually just arranging themselves across the alley. Elphie stood in between them and Glinda. For a moment there was a face-off.

One of the men, clearly in a terrible underestimation, tried to grab at Elphie and so she laid him flat on his back instantly. Glinda knew the unlikely strength of that body, and of that mind. Another man tried to catch Elphie off guard but she grappled with him and delivered a sharp knee in the groin.

The other two just stood, wisely unwilling to get involved. But still there was no way out and as the first two picked themselves up off the floor Glinda saw she and Elphie had nothing but defence and that could only last so long. The problem with a bit of fight is that it only made some people more determined. Glinda was not willing to gamble on whether this particular group would be cowed or incensed, especially not now their attentions had turned to Elphaba.

Glinda surged forward, around a stunned Elphaba and the two almost had their own scuffle as to who was going to stand in front of and protect whom. Glinda, much to her own surprise, got the upper hand. "Stop it!" she told Elphaba sharply and held her arms out to keep Elphaba safely behind.

"What are you doing?" hissed Elphaba.

"I'm going to try and levitate them and hope they explode!" Glinda hissed back. She impressed herself, never having considered herself either witty or good under pressure. Evidently it shocked Elphaba in to something like obedience as well.

No-one could have been more surprised than Glinda when one of the men did actually start to levitate. He was only a few inches from the ground but let out a nice yelp and struggled about a bit. The others gawped and promptly turned tail. Glinda let her floater down not particularly gently and he hobbled off after them on a twisted ankle.

"Wow," Elphaba said, impressed but with no less jokey condescension in her voice than usual. "You really are getting better."

Exhaling loudly Glinda couldn't help but feel a sort of pride. "I am, aren't I?"

"You should have let me crack their skulls."

"No, Elphaba. Just no." Glinda realised she was shaking and shuffled closer to Elphie. The arm she was hoping for wrapped back around her shoulders and held her close.

Glinda breathed deeply. "Should we report that, to someone?"

"I get the impression no-one around here really cares." Elphie's voice had an edge to it.

"Or they will care more about strangers fighting villagers than villagers beating Animals."

"I don't care about that," Elphie almost spat. "Haul me in front of a magistrate, I would just love to give them a piece of my mind."

"Elphie, goodness." Glinda was taken aback. "That's not what I meant. But there's no point getting yourself in to trouble. You've got your eye on the bigger picture."

Elphie nodded but there was a far off look in her eyes.

Moving back to the main road and glancing over her shoulder Elphie led them back to the inn, making sure they were not followed. They didn't speak until the top of the stairs where Elphie turned distractedly.

"Sorry, did we – did you – want supper?"

Glinda shook her head.

Elphaba nodded and fumbled with the key in the lock. She was trembling but from the look on her face Glinda knew it was not fear but adrenaline. She laid a hand over Elphie's and smiled reassuringly, unlocking the door.

No sooner was the door locked on the other side than Glinda had Elphaba pressed up against it as they disrobed and staggered over to the bed together.

Glinda discovered a new facet to their physical relationship, a sort of quiet, desperate us-against-the-world quality. Elphie was looking for some sort of reassurance. There was hot, hot blood pumping through her, a greater force welling behind her gentle and reverent touches. Glinda was awed, totally rapt and once Elphaba had pleasured her to the point of dissipation – and she'd had a few moments to remember her name and where she was – she rolled on to the wondrously naked girl and started kissing her again, tangling her hands in raven hair.

This seemed to amuse Elphaba no end. "So soon?" she mumbled and the kisses were returned fiercely.

Glinda's hand moved down, teasing a nipple until its owner stopped grinning and started looking less coherent. Glinda moved again, gently, slipping a leg in between Elphaba's. She felt Elphie stiffen as expected so she simply continued her kisses and stroking, scraping her nails over Elphie's ribs. She felt hands moving from her buttocks to between her own legs and she shook her head in to the kiss. In Elphie's hesitation she moved her own hand further down Elphie's smooth abdomen and the very tips of her fingers touched curls. Elphaba caught at her wrist and held it in place.

"Elphie, please!" Glinda pleaded, the words strangled and shot through with longing. "I want this so much!"

Under her Elphie just shook her head.

"Tell me... tell me what you want me to do." Glinda was on the very edge of begging.

"I want you to lay down here with me and go to sleep." The words were gentle and kind but Glinda didn't have to be the expert in Elphie she was to know they were hiding something. All Glinda could do was nod and surrender herself to the different but still very real pleasure of falling asleep tangled up in her beloved.

Dreaming Glinda suffered through a nightmare of tough rough hands crawling all over delicate skin. Not her skin, but Elphaba's. When she woke, clutching and trembling, Elphaba's arms were around her and her love was whispering sweet nothings.

Glinda sat up, the cold air of the room almost freezing the perspiration on her arms. She sat up, she looked down at Elphaba and there was fire in her eyes. Elphie looked back up at her, and nodded.

She made love to Elphaba furiously and softly with all the passion and all the delicacy she could muster. She held Elphie as she contorted and struggled to retain control and she held Elphie as she kissed her and helped her lose herself.

Afterwards she lay on her back cradling Elphie in her arms, head on her chest and she smiled. She felt strong, she felt brave.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note: Now that we are a day from the Emerald City I should point out this fic has evolved from 'road to the Emerald City' to 'road to the Emerald City, in the Emerald City, back to Shiz..." and so on. Also, my original plans to dovetail back in to canon have changed. As much as Elphie is clearly a total badass I will never forgive her for abandoning poor, lovely Glinda – so obviously in love with the mean green thing, even if she didn't know it herself. There will be a few more chapters and we are about to make a sharp right straight in to Angstville. I'd also like to take this chance to say thank you for the wonderful reviews, the favouriting, the alerts and just in general for people reading. It's all very much appreciated.

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><p>Glinda woke up quickly, a strange sensation of being completely asleep to completely awake in a single moment. As her mind kicked in to gear she knew why: Elphie's lips were on hers. She purred with satisfaction. Elphie drew back immediately.<p>

"That was nice," Glinda said in a quiet morning voice. Elphie just looked embarrassed, laid sideways, propped up on an elbow looking down at her.

"I couldn't resist," Elphie admitted sheepishly. "You are so beautiful."

Something in Elphie's halting, breathless tone struck Glinda deeply and stirred her up. She rose to press herself back in to Elphie's lips, to feel them again, insistent and overcome.

"_You_ are beautiful," she muttered between deep kisses, pulling herself in to Elphie. There was no question as to what she intended to have happen next.

Elphie pulled back, putting a hand on Glinda's face and looking at her with a peculiar enquiring expression. "Glinda..." she began, with more hesitancy and trepidation than Glinda thought she had ever seen. "Last night..."

"Was wonderful," Glinda finished for her, smiling in delight at the memories. "Elphie it was perfect. _You_ are perfect."

Elphie's eyes bore in to her own, searching for a truth, looking to assuage some concern. Glinda didn't even know what it was. If there had been anything out of the ordinary last night in their passion it did not even register with Glinda who found everything about Elphaba extraordinary in any case.

Whatever test it was she had obviously passed. Elphie's face broke in to a look of relief and a brief smile was Glinda's reward. The ravishing at the mercy of green hands that followed was not counted as a reward but an entitlement.

They were not late for the carriage. The carriage however was destined to be late. There had been a good chance they would make the Emerald City that evening until just after lunch when there was an abrupt lurching and the coach ground to a halt.

Elphaba sat up in Glinda's arms. "Oh," was all she said.

"We aren't going to be in the Emerald City tonight, are we?"

"It does not look like it," Elphie agreed, peering out the window.

Everyone disembarked in to the thankfully fine weather, huddling around the coach. Something had broken. That was about as much as Glinda needed to know. Something had been broken and needed fixing. She was not particularly concerned with the details of what or why or how or with inspecting the grease and muck under the carriage as everyone else seemed so eager to do. Though how they thought that helped or how they thought they themselves could help with their meaningless comments was behind Glinda.

After having a good look and coming up blank most other people were losing interest and wandering away. Whereas Elphaba acted like it was the most intriguing thing she had seen all week. Always thirsting after new experiences or knowledge, Glinda supposed. She herself was quite content for this to be someone else's problem.

Having divined more as to the issue the coachman and his assistant called for some of the men to return to help lift and readjust the position of the coach so they could work on it. Naturally Elphaba was still there.

"Miss, you can leave it to the gentlemen..." the coach assistant said. Glinda winced on his behalf. She imagined him disembowelled or 'accidentally' trapped under a carriage wheel or something equally violent and vengeful.

"And why should I do that? I am invested in the fate of this journey. It is in my best interests to help, is it not?"

The poor young man was confused. And this was Elphaba at her most polite, Glinda noted.

"But you're a... miss. You're a lady."

"I don't see why that should make an ounce of difference." Elphaba started taking luggage from the roof of the coach to lighten the load.

Much to the chagrin of some of the gentlemen Elphaba did insist on helping and, to really top it off, was of more use than them. Glinda sat on someone's trunk that had been unloaded and simply observed, barely able to imagine the delight Elphaba must have been feeling at yet again confounding expectations. Her beloved was currently engaged in a, let's say debate, with an older man about how best to winch up the back of the coach. Elphaba, naturally, won.

Once the carriage was hoisted they could only wait for the despatched rider to return with a new bracket. Apparently that was the problem. Glinda had managed to absorb that information against her will. But at least now there would be a break in the proceedings.

Elphaba wandered over to a smiling Glinda and she could tell a bit of exertion and argument was exactly what had been needed to soothe away some stresses. Elphie looked revitalised, her eyes were brighter and as she sat down ever so close Glinda could smell the wind in her hair.

"Isn't this wonderful?"

Glinda did think it almost was, but she had something of a reputation to maintain. "Of course, wonderful! Stuck in mud in the middle of nowhere, no idea when we will be going, exposed to the elements, at the mercy of highwaymen..."

Elphaba just laughed. "I would fight them all."

"I have no doubt," Glinda murmured, becoming impossibly aroused by Elphaba's new vitality. "I love you like this," she whispered.

There had been nothing yet, at least out of bed, to reflect what had been going on after cover of darkness and bleary, soft mornings. At least nothing obviously non-platonic though their intimacy had certainly gone up a notch. Glinda had been sure they had been operating on full throttle as far as the mild flirtation and gentle affection went, but clearly that had not been the case.

Certainly Elphaba looked startled by Glinda's words, which troubled her. She didn't want Elphie thinking she were just some distraction.

With a quick glance over to the stranded carriage Glinda knew it would be an age yet before they were back on their way and she was not going to spend them time tortuously sat next to Elphaba on a case in a puddle. "Follow me," she said in her best alluring growl, hopping down. Elphaba swallowed, then did indeed follow.

They had barely got out of sight of the road and the other travellers before Glinda gripped the front of Elphaba's jumper and pulled her close. "I want you," she said, almost laughing at the disbelief in Elphaba's eyes. It would have been funny if it didn't look so real.

Presently though Elphie's eyes were closed and their lips were crashing in to each other whilst Glinda found herself pushed up against a tree with Elphie undoing her blouse.

If there were any highwaymen they would come to a pretty swift standstill at the sight of Elphaba's face buried in Glinda's chest whilst hitching Glinda's skirts up. But Glinda, in ecstasies up against that tree, was not concerned.

All too soon, though in fact a good hour or more later, a shout went up as the spare part arrived. Glinda and Elphaba reluctantly rejoined the group and before too long were back in the carriage, Glinda silently willing something new to break. But it didn't and they arrived in a town for the night with no further distractions.

This close to the Emerald City the accommodations were definitely looking up. Glinda noted that the place they entered was almost swanky. It was an actual – though basic – hotel, rather than an inn or tavern and Glinda was feeling pleased until she saw the rates hanging over the desk in the hall and the woman sat beneath them said "Twin?"

"We'll... share a single." Elphie told her. "Economies."

"Twin," the woman repeated. "You'll need to fill this in." A piece of paper was slid over to Elphie. Swankier and much more officious.

Glinda watched Elphie write a completely unknown name and realised she was going to give the game away with her nervousness if she had to stay.

"I'll have the key and take up our luggage, if you please?"

The woman may have been suspicious of Elphie but could not help being thawed by Glinda's pretty voice and manners.

So Glinda went upstairs, a woman with an ulterior motive for getting in there first. She idly unpacked and repacked their luggage whilst keeping a covert and cautious eye on the door for Elphaba.

Said luggage cases were sat on top one of the two beds, the bed she had chosen not to make. The other bed, neatly assembled, seemed larger in the room than it was. Highlighted in some aspect, sticking out like a sore thumb, or the opposite of it.

When Elphaba finally entered Glinda was feigning nonchalance but did not take her eyes off the green girl. Evidently the bed had the same effect on Elphaba. There was almost a stumble and dark eyes flicked nervously over to Glinda.

"Do you need a hand with anything?"

"Oh, no," Glinda said airily. "All done here."

She watched Elphie swallow hard and glance back over at the bed.

"What's wrong?" Glinda asked in her best off hand tone.

"Just..." Elphie seemed to be having difficulty. "I just thought you would want to..."

Glinda was surprised she had held on for as long as she did. Abandoning all pretence she hurried over to Elphaba's side and held an arm in both hands while Elphie stared at the bed.

"Elphie, darling, things have changed. Things between us have changed. And I'm glad. I'm so glad. I have been wanting them to for a long time."

Distractedly Elphie finally turned to look at Glinda.

"I don't want to go back," she continued. "I can't go back. I thought we... Unless... do you?"

"No!" Elphaba said, quickly and urgently, her voice thick. "No. I am glad, too. I just... didn't know you would be. I thought..." she indicated the bed with a distracted flap of a hand, "I didn't know how much was necessity."

Glinda was genuinely taken aback. "Necessity?" she choked, stepping backwards, her hands falling away. The wild look in Elphaba's eyes told her Elphie had recognised her mistake.

"Glinda, my sweet, I didn't -"

"Tell me, Miss Elphaba, Thropp Third Descending, what exactly do you think I have done out of necessity? Did I become your friend out of necessity? Did I accompany you here out of necessity? Did I have no choice? Was I not willing? Did I..."

This was the part that hurt the most and tears formed in Glinda's eyes, seeming to trickle down her throat to make her voice strange. "Did I lay with you... looking at you, touching you, loving you with all my might... out of necessity? Duty? Compulsion?"

"Glinda, please..." Elphaba sounded strangled with stress and worry and Glinda was almost jealous that she did not account for all of that.

That was when she realised why they hadn't really talked. To save this agonising feeling. Because Elphie couldn't talk. Or at least not to say anything Glinda might want to hear.

"I can't be... I've been weak. I shouldn't have brought you and exposed you to all this."

"Exposed me to what? Real life? For Oz's sake Elphie, I'm not made of glass or china. I'm not a bubble, I won't burst. I had hoped you thought better of me."

"It's not you. I had hoped better of myself."

"You can be weak."

Elphie did not look at all convinced but did not respond.

"You can, it is allowed. And I'm here. You can be weak with me."

"I can't!"

"Elphie, you don't have to be some perfect paragon of strength. Not for me. I mean, I love that about you. But when I see your vulnerabilities... when _you_ need _me_... I love that too. All of you."

"I don't want to need anyone," Elphie almost shouted. "I never needed anyone! And no-one needed me and it was all perfectly fine. And I hate this!"

Glinda took another step backwards, partly in response to Elphaba's rage and partly in response to her own. "You hate this? And what is 'this'? What do you hate, Elphie?"

"I hate feeling like this! You – you... cloud my judgement. You make me different. You make me feel... reckless. Dangerous. I don't know. It's too much, Glinda. I can't hold it all together."

"Me?" Glinda could not quite believe what she was hearing. "You hate me?"

Struggling Elphaba was getting increasingly vexed. "No, not you. I don't hate you. I hate myself, around you."

That was enough of the insanity, Glinda decided. "I'm not doing this, Elphie. I'm not going to let _you_ do this." Glinda's voice was strong, stronger than she felt.

"Oh for Oz's sake, _Galinda_. We're not dolls, we're not one of your novels. You can't control this either."

The use of her previous name was not lost on Glinda and it stung more than she could have imagined. She shot forward towards Elphaba, surprising them both. Elphie looked like she had been slapped and for a moment Glinda wasn't sure whether she actually had lashed out or not.

"I'm sorry." Elphie said as though she had only just heard the exchange and was shocked at herself. "Glinda, I'm sorry."

Slumping on to the bed, exhausted, Glinda rolled herself up in the blankets and tried to will herself away, pretend she wasn't here, she wasn't here, she wasn't here.

"Oh sweetness," Elphie murmured. "Maybe I am a mean green monster after all." She sat on the edge of the bed, not touching Glinda.

Glinda felt like she was sinking. "You think it's a brilliant joke, to run yourself down. This self deprecation lark. But it's not just you any more, Elphie." She sat up and wriggled her arms free. "I love you. I'm so bound up in you it's about me too. You put yourself down and you're putting me down too – my belief in you, my love for you..."

"I understand." Elphaba sounded distracted though, as though she were talking about theories rather than emotions. "When I demean myself I demean you. And other people. But Glinda, my dear, it's not that I don't love you. It's that I don't know how you can love me."

Glinda simply shook her head at that. She just wanted this to be over. She felt wretchedly that she would never be able to make Elphie really understand. Maybe on an intellectual level, as the other girl seemed to be gamely trying to do. But not on an emotional level.

Though there was an intellectual stumbling block as well because Glinda knew Elphaba loved her. It was more that she couldn't say it. That wasn't entirely true either. What was 'it's not that I don't love you' if it wasn't 'I love you'? It was just an equation, backwards.

Glinda knew she was fooling herself. It wasn't 'I love you'.

_I don't need to hear it_, Glinda kept telling herself, now and a hundred times before. _I know it. I don't need her to tell me she loves me. I see it every day. Every day, every action, every sacrifice is her love. And every night. It is terrible of me to doubt it, to doubt her love. I don't need her to tell me_. And yet the desire to hear those words stopped Glinda's heart every time Elphie opened her mouth. "I adore you," Elphie had said. And "I am devoted to you." And "I would do anything for you." Glinda knew them all to be true.

Sometimes she had caught a glimpse so deep in Elphie's eyes that she thought if there was a place the girl kept love, so dark and hidden and secret, she would surely have seen it. But out here in the real, dirty, awful world she finally saw where Elphaba kept her love. She hadn't seen Elphaba's heart in those deep, dark eyes because it lived right out on Elphaba's sleeve. Elphaba's love and compassion was hidden in plain sight. Glinda had watched that heart break and bleed and struggle and roar with every injustice it saw. That was the strange wonder of Elphaba.

"If you can't know why I love you..." Glinda didn't even know what to say. There was nothing to say. It would never make a difference. This was Elphaba's fight, against herself. Not Glinda's fight against Elphaba.

Glinda laid back on the bed and closed her eyes against it all. There was a gentle movement next to her as the bed sagged but her eyes stayed closed.

Out of nowhere there was the lightest pressure of a fingertip on Glinda's cheek. Glinda's breath hitched and then Elphie's hands were caressing all over her face: stroking down her nose, across her eyebrows, over her lips. It was the most delicate sensation but completely absorbing. Glinda felt Elphaba shift again and would have cried out if she thought it were going to stop but Elphaba's lips were on her eyelids, her forehead, her cheekbones. It was the most tender and loving of gestures so that Glinda thought she might just cry. And eventually she did.

They stayed in the room the whole evening with just each other for sustenance. There was nothing for them out there in the world. Glinda just wanted to keep Elphie with her as long as she could, well aware that tomorrow things were going to change and not likely for the better. If she couldn't convince Elphie with words how beautiful she was, how wonderful she was, how loved she was... well then Glinda would just have to show her.


	9. Chapter 9

Although the situation the previous night had been if not resolved then at least amicably put to one side there was a tense air the next morning. Elphaba had swung back to her chivalrous and charming persona and Glinda wanted so much to believe it were all true. So she did, she allowed herself to believe it and get swept up in it as a tonic to the dread she was feeling.

Once they arrived in the Emerald City she actually began to feel worse. It did not look like the Emerald City in the postcards; the Emerald City Pfannee and ShenShen had boasted about. It was grim and grimy and Elphaba was obsessed with every scene on every street spelling out some proof of how awful Oz had become.

The hotel had been at least clean and warm but it was small and Glinda found she missed that horrible scrubby countryside. She missed hearing the rats scuttling in the eaves, the owl hoots making her jump, the moonlight streaming in through threadbare curtains. The noises here weren't village pub kitchen noises they were drunken shouts, constables giving chase, fights and brawls and goodness knows what. The accommodation was anonymous, there was no routine and Glinda even missed her fellow passengers who were now scattered to the winds.

Here they were at the climax of their mission. Really however that was Elphie's mission. Glinda's mission was Elphie herself.

She was all about Elphaba and Elphaba had been tense. The waiting agreed with her even less than the travelling. And bureaucracy agreed with her even less than that.

At least the travelling had given some sort of focus, something to concentrate on. Something to achieve and feel useful about. Here Elphie seemed lost. A small green thing in a huge green city. It broke Glinda's heart but there was nothing she could do except keep loving with all her of herself. But Elphie would disappear for hours, roaming the city and Glinda would sit on their bed and cry.

They would wait to go to the palace, Elphie chewing on her nails. Glinda would take her hand and kiss it. Then they would wait some more at the palace, Elphie pacing up and down. Glinda would clutch at her sleeve, try and force Elphie to sit, to talk, to be hugged.

They lay together one night, it could have been the third, fourth night they were stuck in that awful place.

"I love you, Elphie," Glinda said, looking right in to her. "Do you know that? Really know that?"

Elphaba hesitated, eyes wandering about the room in panic. "I think so, yes. Yes."

Remaining silent Glinda just watched. It was dark but she could make out enough of Elphaba to feel safe, be reassured that her beloved was still there.

With a clearing of her throat and a tightening of her arms Elphaba took the bait. "I know you want me to say it. Maybe you need me to say it. But I can't, Glinda, I can't."

"Do you feel it? I don't want you to say it if you don't feel it."

"Of course!" Elphaba became quite animated. "I do, I do. It's just hard, the concepts... and I've had no practice. I buried it because I never thought I could have a use for it."

Glinda pulled away a little and assumed a strict voice. "Elphaba Thropp, that's the biggest load of nonsense I think I've ever heard, and I've been to a lot of very tedious dinner parties. You love more deeply, more passionately, more widely and more unreservedly than anyone I've ever known."

At that Elphaba laughed. Not a cruel or disbelieving laugh, an actual laugh. Glinda was beside herself; it was the happiest she had seen Elphie since they had arrived in the capital.

Still grinning Elphaba rolled on top of Glinda and looked down at her in what Glinda could only take as amazement.

"You..." Elphaba said, her voice light and breathless. "I... You are the very best thing that has ever happened to me. I know that doesn't sound like much, my life considering. But even if I'd had a life of princes and riches and castles you would still be the best thing in it."

Heart swelling Glinda leant up and kissed Elphie. "Princesses," she corrected.

So what if it wasn't the exact words? It was still wonderful. That night their love making had an element of relief, a levity that had been missing over the previous few nights. It made Glinda think about all the nights to come, once this ordeal was over. Which soon enough, it was.

In the spirit of it being an ordeal to be borne Glinda really remembered very little of her time in the Emerald City. She didn't particularly want to remember the never ending palace interviews and the bureaucracy, that unnerving interview with the frankly insane Wizard.

These were the memories she had of the Emerald City, that she held on to... Her being brave. Elphie being vulnerable. Her being afraid. Elphie being strong. Everything, all at once.

And looking back, even whilst trying to account for the benefits of hindsight, part of Glinda had known that Elphie was slipping away, little by little, in to an agonised depression of frustration and helplessness. That was why that one night had meant so much. Still though, no matter how tightly Glinda held on, no matter how much love she poured out, Elphie was turning away. Even knowing that Glinda had no idea what was to come.

Elphie had always caught her, before. After humiliation at Caprice in the Pines. After Dr Dillamond. After Ama Clutch. Glinda had been falling. And Elphie had caught her. Elphie had promised to always catch her. But Glinda had never considered the possibility that Elphaba would be the one to make her fall.

Glad to be returning on the homeward portion of this strange and exhilarating journey, heading towards familiarity and comfort Glinda was happily preparing them a spot in the coach. Even the prospect of another week of the interminably long and bumpy days, the cold and unhygienic lodgings... all that could be borne as long as she were in Elphaba's arms because soon they would be back home. Well, at Crage Hall. Well, home.

Glinda would soothe away Elphie's worries, her anger at a world that was so wrong and her pain at her inability to change it. They would see their friends, make amends to Nessa and Nanny and face the fearsome interrogation of Madame Morrible. But they would do it together.

Glinda thought too of other things they could do together, now they had truly found one another. To be alone together in their rooms, their usual stomping grounds... it would be the same but it would be different. Elphie had spoken winningly of dates they would go on, things they would do, adventures they would have. Then in another year they would be graduated and truly without limits. Glinda's heart soared.

Then Elphaba appeared and wouldn't get in the damn carriage and plucked Glinda's heart from the sky, throwing it to the ground.

At first Glinda had thought Elphie was just fussing. As the dawning realisation of quite how serious this was began to sweep through her she couldn't cope. It felt incomprehensible but clearly it was quite possible. Glinda's heart both pounded and stopped. She felt light headed and racked with a terrible pulsing headache. She felt numb, she felt acutely alert of every sound and sight. She felt set on a course she had no desire for. But was powerless against.

I could given her a cause, Glinda thought miserably, the counter-argument coming too late. Us. Love. But really, heartbreakingly, she knew it would never have been enough.

Glinda refused to believe it were true. It was her worst nightmare, it was everything she feared. Elphie was lost, she had lost her. When Elphaba kissed her, she knew it was true.

* * *

><p>Glinda got two days out of the Emerald City before she could take it no more.<p>

Elphaba had given her strength, given her courage... left money in her bags with the names of the inns to stop at and how much to pay. Continued, even in absence, to protect and provide. But without Elphaba she felt powerless to use any of those things.

Enquiring for a room on her third night she just abruptly sat down on the floor in the middle of the inn and sobbed out a message to be sent to Crage Hall. The bewildered innkeeper installed her in a room for the few days it took Morrible and her entourage to travel – first class – to retrieve her.

Glinda had light treatment at the hands of the Madame: apparently Elphie had been spot-on when she suggested people would happily believe her of kidnap. No matter how many times Glinda said she had gone of her own free will she was still treated as something of a victim.

Morrible had also tried to suggest, at one of her debriefings, that Glinda could tell her about any other manifestations Elphaba's interest in her took. Memories came flooding back that made her want desperately to cry but as that would have certainly condemned Elphaba, she managed to hold it together for more of a righteous indignation.

Everything still seemed part of that strange dream... until she got back inside Crage Hall. Those corridors and rooms that should have been comforting just taunted her. The desperate look on the face of Nanny, who stood clutching at a chair in the entrance hall, ripped through Glinda's heart.

"She's gone," was all Glinda could say.

"But you're here," was Nanny's response as Glinda was pulled in to a tight hug.

Glinda refused to allow Nanny to carry her case upstairs and they came to a subdued stop outside the bedroom.

"I'll run you a bath," Nanny said, "and we can get your things unpacked."

"No, Nanny, please. I'm tired. I need to rest."

Nanny eyed her suspiciously. But Glinda was calm and steady. Her eyes were dark but dry. Glinda knew that was only because she was cried empty, with no food or drink there was nothing to replenish her stocks of tears.

Thankfully Nanny nodded. Glinda knew the poor woman must have her hands full with Nessa, however Nessa was taking this news. She felt bad for not seeing the younger girl, but it was a trial that would have to wait.

"I am next door," Nanny pointed out. "And you will leave your door unlocked."

Glinda nodded mutely but squeezed Nanny's hand.

Once in their room – her room, rather – Glinda gravitated, completely on instinct, to Elphaba's bed. Somewhere in her mind she supposed she was looking for some comfort. She lay down tentatively, her hand stretching gently across the cold and unused blankets.

With a certain amount of trepidation she turned her face in to the pillow. Even though it had been abandoned for near on three weeks it still held a trace of Elphaba. Unless Glinda was imagining it, which was equally possible. In either case, it was too much. Glinda brought up her knees and curled herself in to a protective ball. But it was still there.

Elphie was all around her, not only in her mind, but everywhere. She would never be free. She never wanted to be free. But was this it now? Was this her life? The crushing loneliness, the grief and loss, the absolute and constant terror of not knowing where Elphaba was or whether she was even alive?

It was too much. Suddenly, embroiled in this downward spiral of agony, Glinda actually felt something inside her crack. It came from her chest and reverberated through her body. It was a new pain, a whole new dimension of horrifying. Glinda thought she might be about to die. That had been her heart, it had broken. She was going to die, right here in Elphaba's bed, from a broken heart. She held her breath and waited.

When she had to exhale, still alive, she held it again. But she didn't die. She was still alive and it was too much.

Scrambling madly off the bed in a rush of adrenaline she dropped to the floor. On her hands and knees she let the rancid air out of her lungs, that stank of fear and death. It was a low moan of despair; inhuman and not from any part of her that she knew. Unadulterated, instinctive and primeval pain. And it wouldn't stop.

Within seconds Nanny was there. Glinda was hauled off the floor, unknown faces loomed, there were urgent instructions, Nessa leaning palely in the door frame, a nurse, a scratch and oblivion. But all Glinda could feel was pain, all she could hear was this aching pain and those two minutes lasted for hours.

Glinda didn't know – and didn't want to know – how long she just existed in the blackness of whatever drugs Nanny had sourced for her. It wasn't even oblivion, it was just a replaying of that one scene time and time again. Perhaps she had been in hell. That was her hell.

But she wasn't in hell, just in Shiz. Near force fed by Nanny she was sat up in bed during the daylight and laid down in bed for the night. It was a routine, of sorts. But it had to end.

"Can I see Nessa?" she asked one day. Nanny looked shaken, maybe at just hearing her finally speak again, maybe at her request.

It took only moments for Nessa to appear in the doorway, Nanny holding her up she was so flustered and nervous.

Nessa sat close on the bed and looked in to Glinda, unnerving her.

"You're really back."

"Yes," Glinda said. Her second attempt at a return.

"Glinda, I don't know what's happened, I don't know what you've been through. But you must believe, you must trust that this is right, that you are here and you will get through this."

Glinda was relieved. That could have been a lot worse. Over the next few days though as she grew stronger it did get worse. Nanny and Nessa had heard the story from Morrible anyway. Little by little she elaborated and answered questions as best she could.

Glinda had developed an abridged – severely abridged – version of events. "I waited for her in the carriage and she came... but only to say she wasn't coming. She wouldn't tell me what she was doing. And then she left."

Under Nessa's scrutiny Glinda was beginning to get flushed, grow panicked.

"But what did she _say_?"

Glinda's head was reeling. It was all too much, all the explanation, when she barely understood what had happened herself. "Nessa I don't know, she wouldn't tell me where she was going. She just told me to -"

Glinda had omitted Elphie's more personal goodbye from her narrative thus far but it was eating away at her. "She told me to 'hold out'."

"Hold out?" Nessa was not impressed. "And what is the point of last words if they cannot be interpreted?"

"I think she meant – and I think she meant you too -" Glinda added this part as she thought it probably were the case plus she wanted to deflect some attention, "I think she wanted us to stay strong. Against Morrible, against the Wizard, against society. Against... I don't know, everything. Against Fate, the future, the world."

"How helpful of her," Nessa snarked, "Leaving us here to be strong in the den of wolves."

Glinda didn't entirely disagree with that sentiment but recognised the pain in Nessarose even through her acerbity. She extended a hand to Nessa's shoulder and was a little surprised when Nessa leaned in to it and came to rest propped up against Glinda's side. Glinda tightened her arm and they sat there together, bound in each other and their sadnesses.

Nessa was installed in to Glinda and Elphaba's room – for it was still, in Glinda's mind, their own room. Glinda loved Nessa and was often grateful for the company but there was something too familiar that made her miss Elphaba all the more.

Nessa also gave her something to focus on, taking care of her was something of a panacea. Not only did it give distraction but it had its own rewards and Glinda could see the appeal of achievement and protection in the service of someone else. Which must, she reasoned, have been something similar to how Elphaba felt towards her. But that thought consigned her to bed in tears for three hours, so she dwelt on it no more.

It was not exactly enjoyable. Nessa didn't seem to enjoy it any more than Glinda did.

Madame Morrible did seem to be enjoying it. There was still the occasional interview, as if she hadn't already wrung every last tear out of Glinda already.

"You won't be getting any ideas, trying to run away yourself?" Morrible was testing her.

"No," Glinda replied, monotone. "There are people who care about me. That I care about." She hoped that sounded rational enough.

Morrible nodded. Glinda was dismissed.

She dreamt miserably of Elphaba. They couldn't even be nice dreams of a charming and flirty Elphie who said things that made Glinda's stomach flip with delight. It was a dark and heartbreaking montage of scenes and throwaway lines.

"Not something I've ever known, people worrying about me... I almost especially don't trust myself... You know how stubborn I can be. Sometimes I need rescuing from myself... The problem is, the moths get killed... I don't want to need anyone, I never needed anyone... It's that I don't know how you can love me..."

In the end it wasn't so much the weight of everyone else that made her stay but her own commitment to Elphaba. She loved her, she trusted her, she wanted to do right by her. If this is what Elphie wanted from Glinda then shouldn't it be what happened? Elphie had Glinda's best interests at heart, didn't she? Wouldn't Glinda always have done anything Elphie had needed?


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: Warnings for references to and discussions of suicide and a nasty Nessa.

* * *

><p>It had been a reasonable day running errands in Shiz and one of the first times Glinda had ventured beyond the grounds of Crage Hall. It had been a series of small steps. Nanny had called them victories but to Glinda they were just horrible undertakings, each one like stepping on a grenade of memories and sadness. Those memories flooded in unbidden at any point they chose so it seemed perverse to be deliberately seeking them out and setting them off. Their bedroom was full enough to keep Glinda perfectly traumatised for years without having to visit the dining halls, the gardens and – worst – the library.<p>

But, and Glinda had to give Nanny some credit, the first time was the hardest and once those grenades had been exploded the impact was much less on the return. Going to dine had become almost functional again if she concentrated very hard on not thinking. She hadn't gone back to the library and vowed she never would. Whatever that did to her studies she did not care.

Feeling still unaccountably weak Glinda's pallor had forced Nanny into stopping at a cafe. Glinda had never been in it before which she realised had been deliberate on Nanny's part. She had a strong tea and sat looking out in to the street, not even aware of the other patrons.

Nessa was however and Glinda could hear her grumbling about the stares and the occasional clumsy but well meaning enquiry. If Elphaba had not been a borderline celebrity in Shiz before, well, she certainly was now.

"I feel like I'm living in the shadow of a ghost," Nessa offered, seemingly out of nowhere.

Glinda didn't appreciate the metaphor; the idea of Elphaba being a ghost and what that entailed.

"It's not like it wasn't hard enough in her shadow before, when she were actually here." Nessa continued, rather uncharitably Glinda thought.

"But you could forgive her that; it just sort of happened without her trying." Glinda attempted a defence.

Not looking in the least convinced about her sister's innocence in her infamy Nessa gave Glinda a strange look. "In any case, her absence seems to cast an even larger shadow."

Glinda furrowed her brow. "I just... I truthfully don't think she knew how it would be. How _we_ would be."

"Just determined to make herself miserable, that one." Nanny shook her head sadly.

"Miserable?" Glinda was shaken.

Nanny seemed not to notice. "Oh, always punishing herself for some imagined crime... her birth, her skin, her family, anything..."

"Yes but why she feels the need to punish us all as well..." Nessa ran out of thought. "Though I think Glinda is right. She loved her own tragedy so much she never stopped to see that it wasn't true, that she wasn't the cast out anti heroine she thought she was."

Glinda was getting dizzy. Nanny's understated revelations, Nessa's offhand and apparently uncaring remarks that appeared to be genetic... her own guilt. She should have stopped Elphaba. She should have got out of that carriage and stopped her. Lain down in the street, prostrated herself, wrapped herself around Elphie's legs and tackled her to the ground.

Because Nanny and Nessa were wrong. Elphie knew people cared about her, they'd had that very conversation more than once. And Elphie knew Glinda cared about her, that proof was in her arms every night of their last weeks together. Elphie knew she was loved; she had either chosen not to believe it or chosen to disregard it.

Glinda stood quickly, feeling suffocated and needing movement to prove she still could, that she was still alive, still in some control over her own body, if not her world. "I can't – I'm getting a headache. I don't feel well. I think I'll just go home."

Nanny looked at her suspiciously. "Alright, we were done anyway. Are you ready, flower?" She started preparing Nessa to leave.

"No, really," Glinda tried her best to at least sound reasonable even if she didn't feel it. "No need to spoil Nessa's day out. It is only a few minutes back to Crage Hall, I shall be quite alright and see you later for supper."

Nanny was having none of it. "There'll be no supper for any of us if you take a diversion to the Suicide Canal. Come on now, help me with these bags."

Glinda began to realise there was an element of surveillance in all this care and concern.

The next obstacle that had to be faced was social. People had come and gone whilst Glinda had been sequestered in her room, supposedly recuperating. The visits had been brief at Nanny's insistence, Glinda had been barely coherent and Morrible had been on hand to question everyone as they left so it was little surprise the visits were not all that frequent. Just enough to be showing an effort.

It was different once Glinda was more mobile. Their friends – her friends – were so pleased to see Glinda that it physically hurt. Elphaba was the elephant in the room but Glinda never felt overlooked. And that was almost unfortunate, the scrutiny bore down on her like a vice. But she was grateful, later if not at the time, for their company. Later they would talk about Elphaba. For now it was too raw and Glinda too liable to burst in to tears without any provocation for anyone to actually provoke her.

They would meet by the canal, sit in the pub, Boq would dote on her... but she felt disjointed. Everything still felt like that strange dream, unreal. She started every time the door opened, wishing fervently that it was going to be Elphie sweeping in, late from the library, brusque and ready to do battle with Avaric over something or nothing.

One evening, some six weeks after Glinda's return, the group were in a pub, the other Amas sat on the next door table and Nanny next to Nessa. There were several bottles of wine in the centre of the table, various wine glasses and empty pint glasses strewn about.

Glinda was nursing a glass, turning it round in her hands and quietly surveying new arrivals coming through the door. She turned back to her friends and saw Boq watching her. She smiled at him apologetically.

He took his cue. It had been long enough. "I do the same thing, sometimes, in lectures and the like. When the professors say something ridiculous I keep expecting to hear her voice, her piping up. She never let anything lie. It was embarrassing, then, but now I think I would cry with joy if it were to happen."

Glinda smiled sympathetically. "But I know she's not here," she said quietly. "I saw her walk away from me. You – everyone else – for you it's not quite real. She _could_ just be in our rooms. But I know she is not. I saw her leave and then I left her."

It was the first time they had talked directly about Elphaba. No-one other than Nanny and Nessa seemed willing to risk Glinda on the subject, apart from Madame Morrible who just didn't care. Their friends had taken the path of least resistance and opted for avoidance, at least when Glinda was around. She knew they would have heard everything from Nessa and she knew they must talk about it constantly when Glinda wasn't there, which was a lot of the time. But now the subject was finally being broached and she wasn't sorry. She would talk about Elphaba all day, even if it did bring her to tears and depression.

"Did she really give you no inkling?" Boq questioned, thoughts that must have been consuming him all this time now allowed free rein. But his voice was low, as though he knew he should not be doing it.

"None. None until those final seconds."

"She didn't ask you to go with her?"

It was a simple and innocent question but it tore in to Glinda's stomach like he had plunged a knife through her. She was breathless with shock. "Would I be here?" she gasped. "Do you think I would be here, in agony, had she asked me?"

The rest of the table started to fall quiet and Boq looked embarrassed. But Glinda was consumed.

"Had I been given any choice you think there was any earthly way I could have refused?" It was incomprehensible. Even though Boq and the others had no idea quite how deep her feelings for Elphaba ran they should have known enough to make that question irrelevant.

"Glinda!" Boq almost begged. "Glinda, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

He was getting condemning looks from around the table. She looked around at them all. There was fear in their eyes. That was the first time the sadness had twisted in to anger. She ran.

Someone called after her and she heard Nanny cursing. But she was blind with fury and barrelled out of the pub in to the night, without her coat and without caring. She just wanted to be alone so she continued to run, down streets and alleys to the quieter seclusion of the canal side and the parks.

Glinda slumped under a tree, hugged herself to it and sobbed. After a while she heard one of the boys calling her name so she choked back her tears to remain undetected. Under the lamplight by the canal she saw Tibbett and Avaric on the path checking the bridges, checking the benches... checking the water. They moved on. She was invisible in the dark.

Glinda did not seek the dark, cold water. Her mind was dark and cold and swirling enough. Fear for Elphaba, guilt, concern for herself, guilt for that, selfish longing, more guilt, helplessness about their friends, even more guilt. It churned in her mind, it churned in her gut and though she wanted nothing more than to be free of it all there was only one way out and it was not the admittedly enticing canal. And if Elphaba would not relieve her of it then she would continue to suffer it.

Without any idea how long she had been gone Glinda eventually dragged herself up the tree and shook out her cramping legs. She walked slowly, clumsily, back to Crage Hall. The lights were blazing brightly as she opened the door to her room.

Nessarose was stood stock still in the middle of the floor as Glinda walked in. Nessa looked at her as though she were a ghost. "Nanny!" Nessa called, her voice trembling. "Nanny, she's here."

Out in the corridor somewhere there was a yelp and Nanny, along with a hall attendant appeared in the doorway.

"You terrible creature," Nanny said with nothing but affection and hugged Glinda in an uncharacteristic display. "I'd best tell them to call off the search."

As Nanny left Glinda turned to Nessa. "Nessa, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset anyone. I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted to be alone."

She feared the girl was angry, there was no eye contact but Nessa then launched at Glinda, knocking them both against the wall. Glinda held them upright and it was like that day after she had been returned, they just held each other in a grief that felt like it would never end.

"I'm sorry," Nessa said, raising her head.

Glinda smiled across at her. "Apology unnecessary. Here, let me help you." She dragged Nessa up to something like standing and, with an arm around her waist, walked her back across to Elphie's – _Nessa's!_ - bed. Nessa sat, then made to lay down and Glinda helped her wriggle to being propped up on her pillows.

Nessa giggled. "You're getting adept at manhandling me, just like my sister. Strong for a pretty little thing."

"Am I?" Glinda was surprised but her voice indicated absent mindedness. She had never thought about herself like that. But maybe it was true.

"Well," Nessa started in a superior tone. "You didn't go in to the canal."

Glinda glanced at her sharply. Nessa was putting up walls at the same time as she was trying to communicate which was an infuriatingly Throppian tactic but at least this was something Glinda was expert in. Whilst the two sisters had been side by side she could only see their differences. Now, in the absence of Elphaba, she could only see their similarities.

"No," Glinda said gently, ignoring Nessa's tone as she knew she should. "I didn't. And I'm not going to." She settled herself better on her bed, drawing up her knees.

Nessa nodded without looking convinced. "It has been a concern."

As much as she understood the tactics Nessa was utilising Glinda was completely in the dark about where this conversation was going. She assumed it would take a spiritual tack, as Nessa was wont to do and she was really not in the mood for that. Nessa just sat, another inscrutable Thropp.

Glinda was almost afraid of the beautiful and aloof girl. What did she know? What was she thinking? The possibility that Nessa had correctly divined the nature of Elphaba and Glinda's relationship had always bothered Glinda, since it had become enough of an issue to bother about. She didn't know Nessa's views on such things in general, much less how it would be interpreted to a situation occurring so close to home.

Elphaba, naturally, was laissez faire about sex and sexuality, Glinda had always known that. Elphie's own parents were not strict in their views of sex and appeared, from offhand comments Elphie had made, to have had something of an open relationship. Elphaba had no opinion on the matter because she didn't see it as her business. In Glinda's experience Elphie had never condemned and rarely condoned anything another person did when it came to purely personal matters. Political matters had been quite the opposite.

Nessa on the other hand spread her opinions liberally about and those opinions were not always liberal. But on sex she had stayed close-lipped. Glinda could only guess whether the experience of her parents had opened or closed her mind. How Nessa felt about sexuality was conspicuous in its absence from the otherwise detailed moral and spiritual views she was known to have.

It was an unknown quantity and Glinda feared the unknown.

Nessa made the next move. "We all miss her."

"I love her," Glinda said simply, helplessly, unable to bear it on her own any more.

"Everyone loves her. Often even whilst they hate her. It is a strange skill and one she doesn't even care that she has. But you're different. You're different to her, different from the rest of us. So... the question is: what is she to you?"

"Everything. She is everything to me."

Nessa scoffed. Glinda braced herself. The air grew tense.

"I had thought," Nessa began slowly. "That something might be happening between the two of you."

Not knowing where to begin Glinda just sat helplessly.

"I expected nothing less of her but more of you, honestly, Glinda. I thought you understood how things worked."

"If it is the fact she is another woman I really think -"

"It's more the fact she is barely another woman," Nessa spat.

Glinda flinched.

Horrifyingly Nessa continued, "But neither is she the man she wishes to be. She's barely even human."

"She's your _sister_!" Glinda was outraged and invoked the sibling bond as if she thought it proved something. "How can you hate her so much?"

"Hate her?" Nessa seemed genuinely taken aback. "I don't hate her at all. I love her, more than I love anyone, probably. I know people have romantic notions about love and hate being the same emotion. But I have no hate for Elphaba. Only love.

"It's because I love her that sometimes I am harsh. I love a soul she has every intention of damning. It's because I love her that I hate she will not accept her limitations as many as they are and surrender herself to the will of the Unnamed God. Instead she wheels out her freakish traits and perversions and it will only lead – has only led – to suffering. She needs to accept that certain things in life are off limits to her. I am not being cruel, I know what that is like."

"You just want her to sit down and stay quiet."

Glinda meant it as an accusation but Nessarose nodded as if pleased Glinda understood.

"Well she won't, Nessa. She can't. If you loved her you would know that. And if you loved her you wouldn't want her to. Whatever her flaws, whatever her shortcomings, she is perfect."

"Sentimental nonsense."

"No, it's not. It's hard and it hurts. It's not sentimental, it's deathly real. I love her so purely it tears out my soul. It's dirty and messy and painful. It's near unconditional – I mean, look at me. Look at what she has done to me. And I'm still here and I can't love her any less."

They had reached a stand off, breathing heavily as if the fight had been physical. They both completely understood the other and yet were at a complete loss to agree. Glinda had never felt closer to or further away from Nessa than in that moment.

Presently Nanny bustled back in and Glinda made more apologies for the upset while Nessa continued to sit and stare. She tried to negotiate sleeping in Nessa's old room and Nanny staying with Nessa. She was worried about the girl but felt unable to provide the care that might be needed. But Glinda's motives could no longer be trusted and her request was denied. Instead Nanny dragged a cot in to the room and the three of them slept – or did not sleep – together.

That arrangement only lasted a few days. Glinda ministered to Nessa as had become their norm and Nessa accepted it. Glinda even went to a few classes though she feared her semester might be irredeemably lost and was reconciled to that. It was more something to do. Because something had changed.

The fear and the grief and the guilt were still present and showed little sign of abating. It was more that she had grown used to them and able to perform the routine of everyday life in spite of them. But there was a new emotion, this anger that had been stirred up that night. It wasn't going anywhere and it lay over everything like a frost.

More than those other emotions that rendered her useless Glinda found the anger energising. She wasn't sure exactly what it was about or who it was directed at. It could have been anger at herself, at Elphaba, at Morrible, at the Wizard, at Nessa, at their friends, at the situation itself or the whole of Oz. She almost didn't care. The anger motivated her, sharpened her mind, the frost sparkled in her brain making everything clear and sharp.

So it was that early one grey morning she was disturbed in sneaking out of her room by Nessarose wriggling up in her bed.

"I'm surprised you lasted this long." It wasn't harsh or condemning. It just was.

Poor Nessa. Glinda couldn't begin to understand the emotions there but she knew they were hard.

"We're waiting for someone who will never come. I'm not talking any more. I'm going to find her." And Glinda left, in a swirl of her travelling cloak, disappearing out the door.

This journey to the Emerald City was done with distinctly more collectedness than the last time she had travelled alone. Glinda even had a plan.


	11. Chapter 11

The plan was fiendish in its simplicity. Glinda hoped this was giving to give her an edge over Elphaba's probable evasion and anyone else who might also be looking for her. It seemed possible Morrible was on the hunt. Maybe even the Wizard. Though Glinda had no evidence of either. What she did have was a secret weapon no-one else had. An intimate knowledge of their quarry.

Deciding not to worry about the fact Elphaba had a two month head start that was long enough to get her to the Vinkus Glinda just started in the middle and worked her way out. She returned to the Emerald City, to the district they had stayed in. She did not cry at the sight of the hotel or the damned palace twinkling in the distance.

If Elphaba was planning something, if she was going to make a move of any kind there was one constant. She would research and learn and accrue knowledge. And that meant books.

So the plan was: Find book shops and libraries. Introduce self. Ask, have you had a girl in here – tall, thin, long dark hair, wears a lot of black, beautiful, oh and green. It was the last part that usually caught people's attention.

Collecting dates of last sightings and trying to work out what had been sold, borrowed or referenced Glinda followed the trail to a tiny, musty little book shop in the merchant's quarter. She could perfectly envisage Elphaba squeezing through the narrow aisles though even she would struggle to reach the highest shelves.

Plan enacted the shop owner pushed his glasses up his nose and said "Melena?" Her mother's name.

Glinda clutched at the desk. He seemed unsure about talking to her. Happily Glinda did not look like a mercenary assassin or secret agent. "She's staying in a boarding house across the street. Number one nine seven. You can see the door from here."

Glinda almost didn't dare look. The search had been its own goal, in a way. The possibility of actually finding Elphaba, and so soon, had been so slim Glinda almost hadn't entertained it.

"Can I -" she faltered. "Can I stay, for a while?"

The bewildered man just nodded and Glinda took up a seat near the window pressed up in the corner, her brown dress merging with the book bindings, the hood of her cloak staying firmly over her hair. She was offered a cup of tea but declined. There was only one thing she wanted, that she needed. Eventually, later that afternoon, it came.

Glinda knew immediately that it was Elphaba. Just the way she moved, the way she walked, how she held herself was so familiar. As she grew closer, shuffling past other pedestrians, Glinda could see the Oz-awful shoes, that cloak and the tips of green fingers peeping out from her gloves as she reached up to unlock the door of the boarding house.

"Oh thank you," she whispered. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

There were no tears, no fainting or histrionics, just an absolute and overwhelming sense of belonging. The world made sense again. "Let me make us a cup of tea," Glinda offered. She wondered if there were any brandy in the little kitchen.

The shop keeper had been watching Glinda watching Elphaba. "I think you might need something stronger than tea," he humphed.

Having finished her tea – just tea – Glinda washed their cups and bade goodbye to the confused but admittedly entertained man. She headed across the road and knocked on the door.

After what felt like an age in which Glinda had to mightily resist chewing a hole in her sleeve the door was opened by a woman who certainly did have brandy in her kitchen.

"Looking for a room?"

Glinda let herself in. "I'm looking for someone in one of your rooms. A friend of mine. Melena?"

The woman didn't react. Glinda stumbled. Maybe Elphie was mixing her names. She tried again. "Tall, thin -" Oh confound it all, there was no time. "Green. She's green."

"Oh, her. Sure. Room five. Watch yourself. Nasty thing, mean as hell."

"That's the one," Glinda smiled to herself and walked up the stairs, clutching at the rail.

Stood outside room five Glinda knocked at the door, the contents of her stomach creeping up her throat. She swallowed hard. She did not want to greet Elphie by depositing lunch all over her shoes. Although it would be rather dramatic.

"I told you I would have it tomorrow!" She heard Elphie call and her heart melted at the sound. "I know what you're doing with these six day weeks. Now go away."

Glinda smiled. This was torture. But it was wonderful. Elphie was just there. And apparently little changed. She chanced her hand on the door knob. It opened. Where was the obsessive locking and barring of the door? The door swung further open. Glinda caught a glimpse of Elphie as she shrank away to the other side of the room. She was getting changed, her blouse was only half buttoned and her legs were bare.

"Damn you, woman," Elphie cried. "Get out!"

"Why didn't you lock it?" It was the only thing Glinda could think to say.

Elphaba appeared back in view. Her eyes were wide, her mouth twisted. Glinda took it first for anger. But it wasn't. She thought she had seen fear in Elphie before. But it was nothing compared to this.

"You always made me lock it and bar it and double check it."

Finally finding something of her voice Elphie whispered "That was you. That was for you my..." she stopped and glanced down at the floor, pulling herself together for a moment.

Glinda stepped in and closed the door, locking it behind herself.

Elphie still looked wild, like she was looking at a ghost. Which was funny, considering who had disappeared in to thin air on whom.

"What are you _doing_ here?" Elphaba was terrified.

"You look tired." She did. The darkness under her eyes was striking, clearly she was not getting any more sleep than she had been before she had set Glinda back on that coach.

Elphaba glared at her. "Glinda, it's not safe. Are you on your own? How did you get here? How long have you been here?" There was a panic, her voice rising unnaturally high.

"I'm on my own, I came by coach, I've been here about a week." She reeled off the answers quickly, matter of factly. Glinda felt really _she_ should be the one doing the interrogation but all her thoughts had evaporated.

"But why?"

The question of 'why?' had plagued Glinda's mind all those weeks in Shiz. She had thought it would be the first thing she would ask Elphie but she came to realise that she knew why. She knew Elphie's reasoning. She didn't agree – at all – but she knew.

"I wanted to see you. I needed to know you were alive, that you were safe. Which: of course you are. I missed you. I was scared for you." This list was delivered with a bit more emotion.

How to begin explaining what life had been like since their parting? Oh, I thought I might die and everyone else thought I might throw myself in the canal. That would not go down well. That anger began to swell up in her again.

"You know you can't just abandon people and walk away and expect them not to be upset. Everyone was worried about you. Is worried. It was awful, back in Shiz. It was like you were dead. Do you understand? You may as well have been dead. For all we knew you could have been. Can you even begin to comprehend what that was like?"

Elphaba at least had the decency to appear ashamed. "No. No, I can't."

"What did you think was going to happen, Elphaba? What did you think was going to happen to all the people you left behind?"

"You'd... Glinda, I don't know! You knew I was alright."

"Yes, at that moment. As you walked away from me." She couldn't keep the venom out of her voice. She didn't want to. "But after that anything could have happened. And if someone just disappears, if you never hear from them again and are never able to see them again... that's just as good as being dead."

"I just wanted to get you out of here. I wanted you to be safe."

"I was safe with you." She thought about the canal.

"I can't keep you safe."

"That's not the point." She shook the objection off. "I'd rather be with you than be safe."

"This is what I mean!" Elphie was back to animated and strode around the room. "This is making us crazy. You feel like that, you say that, but I only make things worse for you. You're too important to me, Glinda, to risk on any of this."

"It's not your decision to make. That was my choice! I know you always looked after me – but you don't decide what is right for me. You never trust me, how much I love you."

Glinda wasn't surprised she was able to find soft words for Elphie even in all the anger. It was still true. It would always be true. No matter what.

Elphie stopped and started fiddling with the scrolling metal framework on the bed head. "You've got it all wrong. I was never good enough for you. I never deserved you. I would have torn up your world."

"What you did do was worse than whatever you imagined you might do. You _did_ tear up my world."

She wouldn't tell Elphie how close she had come to complete ruin but there was a dangerous inflection in her voice that caused Elphaba to look up at her and clearly something in her eyes that made Elphaba frown.

Glinda continued. "But you are going to tear up _the_ world and all I want is to be by your side while you do."

Elphie softened. She was fighting a war with herself, Glinda could see it quite plainly. A gentle, trusting part of her won a small victory in the longer campaign and Elphie moved across and took Glinda in to her arms.

Glinda relaxed in to them. She held Elphie tight and was held no less tightly in return.

"You came, all this way, on your own, you looked for me..." Elphie said it in to the top of her head, repeating it to herself more than saying it to Glinda. Glinda just loved the feeling of Elphaba's breath in her hair, the heat she could feel from the girl's body. Elphie was alive, she was still here.

"Elphaba, I would have _walked_ from Shiz just to know you were safe. Oz, I would walk all the four counties just to have seen that glimpse of you over the road, to know you were alive and well."

Much to Glinda's surprise she felt Elphaba shaking. The arms normally so strongly and decisively held around her were shaking. Glinda ran a hand up and down Elphie's back.

"I don't know who I am any more." Elphaba was so quiet but it sounded booming in their little pocket of intimacy. "I used to be so sure of everything. But it changed. I changed, my world changed. I don't just mean you, I mean everything. Everything I thought I knew about myself and the world was challenged. I just don't know how it fits together any more."

"You will, you will," Glinda soothed. "I believe in you. Do you not think I have changed? How can you not understand what you have done for me? Elphie, darling, you came in to my life and you turned it upside down. In the most amazing way. And when my life got turned upside down in other ways you believed in me. You made me brave. The only thing I cannot do is be without you. I can't. I won't. We can do this. We can do this together."

"We," Elphie repeated and mused on the word.

Glinda was angry again and pulled back, wrenching herself free and away from the only place in all of Oz she really wanted to be. "Yes, we. By everything holy Elphaba Thropp there is no getting away from this. I need you. You need me."

Elphaba looked thoroughly wretched and Glinda could not imagine the debate that must be going on inside her. As if in reaction to that very debate she put her hands to her head and rubbed at her temples. It was a lot to take in, Glinda knew. A lot to process, having Glinda turn up out of the blue and lay all this out. Although, she felt it needed noting, not quite as traumatic as just being put on a carriage and sent away.

"This... you don't... I can't..." Elphaba was coming undone.

Glinda moved forward again. She was going to seize the reins and take control. "Look at me," she said more forcefully than she thought she had ever said anything. Elphaba obeyed. "I am here, aren't I? You didn't compel me, in fact you specifically forbade it. If there is any necessity here it is my own."

Elphaba was helpless. She looked completely at a loss. And though it hurt Glinda's heart to do it this was essential for them both. She moved gently towards the door before she delivered her final judgement.

"You have to be strong enough to be afraid, Elphie. You have to be brave to be vulnerable."

Glinda was unlocking the door as she spoke, hands behind her, and opened it dramatically to rush out, closing it a little louder than necessary behind her. She wanted to pause, to breathe, but she couldn't give herself the chance to capitulate. She had to be strong.

Gathering herself she hurried away, round a corner and down the stairs. She heard a door above open and Elphaba call "Glinda?" but she did not stop.

She made it out on to the street and over the road before a dishevelled and half dressed Elphaba appeared in the main doorway, frantically looking up and down the street.

Concealed in a shop opposite Glinda was out of sight and just about out of her mind. Was this a gamble? No, she knew as sure as she knew anything that there was no question of Elphaba's love for her. It was Elphaba who had to know.

She would stay away, keep her distance for as long as she dared. She knew it would not be long, it could not be long. She would not have been able to and her intention was not to hurt Elphie, just give her time to think. She would return to her soon, to try again. And if this was what she had to keep doing, watching over Elphie from the shadows and offering herself and her love, from now until eternity then by Oz she would.

For the next three days Glinda confined herself to her room. She read, she paced, she sat, she lay on the bed. By the afternoon of the third day she was at breaking point so she dressed and headed out.

It was earlier than the time Elphie had returned to her lodgings the previous day but Glinda was not sure whether Elphie would be there or not. She knocked on the door and was admitted by the woman who looked her up and down.

"You've caused quite the upset," she pronounced. "She's been looking everywhere for you. Got her quite on edge. Snappier than usual, even."

Glinda apologised. "Is she here?"

"No. Out combing the streets no doubt. You can go up, if you like."

So Glinda did. The door was unlocked and the room in disarray. Even more than Elphaba's usual haphazard standard. Glinda made the bed and then sat down on the windowsill, watching the darkness fall.

Some time later there was a tread on the stair and Glinda just knew. The door opened and Elphie entered, head down with her back to Glinda as she closed the door behind her. Then she slumped against it, resting her forehead there and raising an arm to smack her hand against the wood.

Glinda took a step towards her, floorboards creaking.

When Elphie caught sight of her the look on her face shook Glinda right to her very heart. It was terror and desire. It was love and fear. It was everything Glinda wanted.

Elphaba bounded across the room and caught Glinda up in her arms, almost holding her off the floor. "Oh my sweet," she breathed, "Oh my darling..."

Glinda hugged her back fiercely, feeling this was already going rather promisingly.

Elphaba released her and took her face in soft hands. "Are you alright?" Glinda was searched by Elphie's eyes for signs of injury or distress. "I've been out of my mind... these last few days."

Glinda nodded, awed and shamed by the worry in the dark eyes opposite her. But there was an acknowledgement there. Elphie was talking about days. Glinda had suffered two months.

"Glinda..." Elphie began again, a little calmer. "Please forgive me. The things I said before... the things I didn't say..."

Glinda surged forward to kiss Elphaba, bringing her own hands up to Elphie's face but the taller girl used that very aspect to distance herself.

"No," she said urgently, "No, don't. I need to..." Elphie had a pained expression.

"Whatever it is," Glinda whispered, removing one of the hands from her face and kissing the palm. "Whatever you say, I love you."

Elphaba looked precipitously as though she might cry. "I..." Her voice was hoarse, struggling. "Everyone thinks I am somehow possessed of this bravery, this strength. Stupid and headstrong but brave."

Glinda smiled softly, in sympathy and agreement and sheer adoration.

"But I'm so afraid. I'm a whole other person. And you... you are a thousand times braver than I am. You saw who I was and you loved me and you weren't afraid. I failed you in so many ways but you never, ever let me down."

Whatever Glinda had been expecting it was not this. If Elphaba couldn't cry she certainly could. So she did.

"Shh, my sweet," Elphie tenderly stroked her hair. "Don't you let me hurt you any more. And I won't Glinda, I promise you. You said I didn't appreciate how I had changed you but darling, you haven't even begun to know how you have changed me."

The welling tears did fall, then. "Gah," Elphaba exclaimed and wiped them quickly on her sleeve. She reached across and dabbed at Glinda as well, balling up the cuff of her jumper. It made Glinda laugh, half choking.

They relaxed, for a moment, just holding on to one another and looking at one another after so long.

Elphaba spoke again, worriedly. "But the things I've seen, the things I know – I can't go back."

"Sweetheart, I wouldn't change you for the world. Even if I ever could," Glinda added with absolute love for Elphie's wonderful stubbornness.

"I can't ask you to do this for me, Glinda."

"You're not asking me to do anything. I'm doing it anyway. Just promise me that whatever we do, we do it together."

"_We_ will," Elphaba murmured as she leant down towards Glinda. "Together," she said as their lips met.

* * *

><p>Glinda looked down at Elphaba who was laid on her stomach, beautiful and extraordinary, sheets barely reaching her knees, her arms raised around her head and her face hidden in her hair. Glinda thought she could never be more happy as she smoothed the dark hair away, gently stroking it down in place on Elphie's back and saw that, yes, Elphie was asleep. With a trembling smile and overwhelmed she slipped herself underneath the green woman, who drowsily moved to accommodate her and then press closer to her body.<p>

"I love you," she heard Elphie mumble and it shook her with joy.

"Oh Elphie," she sighed. "You strange, wonderful thing. How I love you."

THE END

* * *

><p>Author's note: Lovely readers and lovely reviewers, thank you so much for coming along for the ride. I am so very grateful for your interest and the time you have taken to be involved. The discussions have been insightful, entertaining and enlightening. I hope you have enjoyed yourselves too. If anyone would like to leave a comment on the completed piece be assured I will keep reading and replying.<p>

If you like Gelphie fluff (and if not, well, congratulations for having made it to the end of this story, that must have been really tough for you) there were a load of fun interactions I wrote for this that didn't fit in and got cut. So I'm starting a new fic, a super fluffy third year at Shiz affair where no-one went to the Emerald City, broke anyone's heart or ruined anyone's life. I'm looking at you, Elphaba. It's called "The Thrill, Basis Determined" and will be starting in a few days.


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